Desert Blooms

Obedience vs. Religion

2012-01-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

LOVED this description of 'Obedience vs. Religion' today from my Daily Devotinal e-mail I get through "Prime Time With God" from 'Ephesians Four Ministries.'

Talk about getting to truly know the heart of the Father through a relationship of obedience, by the blood of Christ, and not through 'reason' and 'man.'

Wake up church!

I'm also personally checked myself, by my thirst (at times) for reading the Bible being more for gaining 'knowledge' of the Bible, and not always for the thirst of the intimacy with my God it brings, (as the last question on this Daily Devotional asks). In this continued season of having all forms of 'hidden religion' ripped off of me, I confess this, and share it with you.

Although I'm BEYOND thankful for this actual tangible Word of God in my very own hands, I pray that as I continue to seek through it, that it's purposes are always to grow closer to the Lord in relationship, and NOT just for it's gift of knowledge and revelation it brings.

For it's IN relationship with Christ that we receive the revelation and transformation that we thirst for, in order to become more like His likeness.

May our first love, the love for our Lord Jesus, push us into deeper relationship with Him and continue to keep us young in heart and spirit, and let not time, circumstance, and knowledge gained, ever deter that.

I don't want to end up wise, cranky, prideful and spewing forth religion, do you?

Have a fab day and soak in the beautiful rays of the Lord dancing and singing over you as you love Him :)

Rebecca

Greek versus Hebraic

TGIF Today God Is First Volume 2, by Os Hillman

01-25-2012

"I will bend Judah as I bend my bow and fill it with Ephraim. I will rouse your sons, O Zion, against your sons, O Greece, and make you like a warrior's sword" (Zech 9:13).

In the early church there was an emphasis on developing a heart toward God. This was the Hebraic way. The scriptures were not accessible like they are for us. So, the relationship with God was the key focus. God related to his people on a personal and intimate level. And obedience was the key to a healthy relationship with God. Decisions were not made based on reason and analysis, but by obedience. "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom" (Ps. 111:10).

This is why many of the miracles performed in the Bible went against natural reason, (i.e. feeding five thousand, crossing the Red Sea, retrieving a coin from a fish's mouth, walking around Jericho to win a battle, etc.) God constantly wanted to check the leader's obedience, not his knowledge. Knowledge and reason came into the early Church with the Greek scholars in subsequent centuries. This is when the church began to affirm oratory skills among Church leaders. Gradually, over many centuries the focus on knowledge and reason has become more accepted in the Church.

Loss of intimacy with God has been the fallout as a result of the influence of the Greek spirit. The primary focus has been teaching and discipleship instead of the development of a personal and intimate relationship with God. This has resulted in a form of religion, but one without power.

In the early church, the rabbi was there primarily for quality control, not as the primary teacher and speaker. He did not even address the people from an elevated platform. The whole congregation was in a more circular format, each sharing what they believed God was saying. The focus was on the power of God working through each individual, not one individual (1 Cor. 14:26).

Is your focus on gaining more knowledge or growing in intimacy and power with Jesus? He desires to know you intimately.

Today God Is First (TGIF) devotional message, Copyright by Os Hillman, Marketplace Leaders.

Scatter Seeds Of Kindness

2012-01-23T12:44:00.000-08:00

I have the first paragraph of this beautiful poem, hung by my bed. I read it almost every morning, and I've come to really love it. Thought I would look it up today to see what it was from, and it turns out to be part of an old Hymn.

"So let us
Gather up the sunbeams
Lying all around our path,
Let us keep the wheat
And roses,
Casting out the thorns and chaff.
Let us find our sweetest comfort
In the blessings of today,
With our patient hands
Removing
Shadows from each
Others way."

May R. Smith (1842-1927)

The Snowman

2012-01-20T09:51:00.000-08:00

Have been LOVING watching 'The Snowman' with the kids this winter. We need to return it to the library soon, but I loved the music to it so much, I bought the song. Can't wait to have it playing as the snow falls this winter....candles lit, and cuddling kids. (And I apologize-but before you play this song-go ahead and scroll down to the bottom of this blog to 'mute' my personal music that will start playing on it's own-this song is worth it!)

Vision and Darkness

2012-01-20T09:41:00.000-08:00

"An horror of great darkness fell upon him." Genesis 15:12

"WHENEVER God gives a vision to a saint, He puts Him, as it were, in the shadow of His hand, and the saint's duty is to be still and listen. There is a darkness which comes from excess of light, and then is the time to listen. Genesis 16 is an illustration of listening to good advice when it is dark instead of waiting for God to send the light. When God gives a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will make you in accordance with the vision He has given if you will wait His time. Never try and help God fulfill His word. Abraham went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all self-sufficiency was destroyed; there was no possibility left of relying on common-sense ways. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not of displeasure. Never pump of joy and confidence, but stay upon God. (cf. Isaiah 1:10,11)

Have I any confidence in the flesh? Or have I got beyond all confidence in myself and in men and women of God; in books and prayers and ecstasies; and is my confidene placed now in God Himself, not is His blessings? "I am the Almighty God"--El-Shaddai, the Father-Mother God. The one thing for which we are all being disciplined is to know that God is real. As soon as God becomes real, other people become shadows. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever perturb the one who is built on God." ~Oswald Chambers

Happy Home

2012-01-09T10:34:00.000-08:00

Need a lift to get going on the New Year?

Come visit "Sugar Pie Farmhouse" for some inspiration that will PUMP YOU UP! :)

Doesn't that picture just pull you in?

I've seen it a few times and the style and color make me want to eat it, if not 'copy' it and paint it on my kitchen wall---who knows, I just might!

Let Us Keep to the Point

2012-01-03T10:45:00.000-08:00

"My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed, but that now as ever I may do honour to Christ in my own person by fearless courage." Phil. 1:20 (Moffatt)

"My Utmost for His Highest. "My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed." We shall all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus on the point He has asked us to yield to Him. Paul says--"My determination is to be my utmost for His Highest." To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point. An overweening consideration for ourselves is the thing that keeps us from that decision, though we put it that we are considering others. When we consider what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He does not know what our obedience will mean. Keep to the point; He does know. Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God for this one thing only--My Utmost for His Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone.

My Undeterredness for His Holiness. "Whether that means life or death, no matter!" (v.21.) Paul is determined that nothing shall deter him from doing exactly what God wants. God's order has to work up to a crisis in our lives because we will not heed the gentler way. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him, and we begin to debate; then He produces a providential crisis where we have to begin to decide-for or against, and from that point the "Great Divide" begins.

If the crisis has come to you on any line, surrender your will to Him absolutely and irrevocably."

~Oswald Chambers

Deserter or Disciple?

2011-12-30T18:37:00.000-08:00

"From that time many of His disciples went back, and walked no more with Him." John 6:66

Good grief...the 6:66 makes you think about the darkness of turning away, the sign of the beast.

But nonetheless, some more sweet savories to chew on from Oswald Chambers. I'm actually filled with more peace by this bit of writing, as I've walked away from many religious things this past year, as unnerving as it was to my flesh and mind, when the Lord called me to.

Thankfully, walking with my Jesus, towards my Jesus, for my Jesus, brings the sweet peace that surpasses understanding.

Throwing off the fluff and puff...entering into the beauties of His simplicities.

"When God gives a vision by His Spirit through His word of what He wants, and your mind and soul thrill to it, if you do not walk in the light of that vision, you will sink into servitude to a point of view which our Lord never had. Disobedience in mind to the heavenly vision will make you a slave to points of view that are alien to Jesus Christ. Do not look at someone else and say--Well, if he can have those views and prosper, why cannot I? You have to walk in the light of the vision that has been given to you and not compare yourself with others or judge them, that is between them and God. When you find that a point of view in which you have been delighting clashes with the heavenly vision and you debate, certain things will begin to develop in you--a sense of property and a sense of personal right, things of which Jesus Christ made nothing. He was always against these things as being the root of everything alien to Himself. "A man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things that he possesseth." If we do not recognize this, it is because we are ignoring the undercurrent of Our Lord's teaching.

We are apt to lie back and bask in the memory of the wonderful experience we have had. If there is one standard in the New Testament revealed by the light of God and you do not come up to it, and do not feel inclined to come up to it, that is the beginning of backsliding, because it means that your conscience does not answer to the truth. You can never be the same after the unveiling of a truth. That moment marks you for going on as a more true disciple of Jesus Christ or for going back as a deserter." ~Oswald Chambers

Placed in the Light

2011-12-26T10:46:00.000-08:00

"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light...the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin."

1 John 1:7

"To mistake conscious freedom from sin for deliverance from sin by the Atonement is a great error. No man knows what sin is until he is born again. Sin is what Jesus Christ faced on Calvary. The evidence that I am delivered from sin is that I know the real nature of sin in me. It takes the last reach of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, that is, the impartation of His absolute perfection, to make a man know what sin is.

The Holy Spirit applies the Atonement to us in the unconscious realm as well as in the realm of which we are conscious, and it is only when we get a grasp of the unrivalled power of the Spirit in us that we understand the meaning of 1 John 1:7, "the blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth us from all sin." This does not refer to conscious sin only, but to the tremendously profound understanding of sin which only the Holy Ghost in me realizes.

If I walk in the light as God is in the light, not in the light of my conscious, but in the light of God---if I walk there, with nothing folded up, then there comes the amazing revelation, the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses me from all sin so that God Almighty can see nothing to censure me in. In my consciousness it works with a keen poignant knowledge of what sin is. The love of God at work in me makes me hate with the hatred of the Holy Ghost all that is not in keeping with God's holiness. To walk in the light means that everything that is of the darkness drives me closer into the centre of the light."

~Oswald Chambers, 'My Utmost fom His Highest'

Dissatisfied Christian?

2011-11-30T21:13:00.000-08:00

"O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you?" Mathew 17:17

Pastor Mark Buchanan writes about this specific demon from the New Testament that both, the teachers of religious law and the Christ followers, could not cast out.

"Jesus replies, "Bring the boy here to me."

And from Mark Buchanon,

"It breaks Jesus' heart to say it. But the boy is brought. And with a word, Jesus does what needs doing: deals decisively with evil, heroically with the afflicted, tenderly with the broken hearted. The demon doesn't walk again. The boy walks away free. The father walks away rejoicing.

The teachers of the law just walk away.

And the disciples--they follow Jesus. They walk where he's walking. Jesus goes inside, and they come shuffling after him. A question vexes them, and they need an answer: "Why couldn't we drive it out?"

Their question answers a question that's vexed me a long time. My question is, What's the difference between a disciple and a teacher of the law? Or ask it this way: what distinguishes a Christ-follower from those who are merely religious?

What's the difference between a disciple and a teacher of the law?

So far, in this story, nothing. Except for one thing. The only difference I can see between a true Christ-follower and someone merely religious is that a Christ-follower is dissatisfied with his or her level of spiritual power.

"Why couldn't we cast it out?"

They really want to know. They really want to live into the expectation that Jesus has for them. They really want to live lives that fill the God-hungry with wonder, evil spirits with terror, desperate fathers with joy, tormented sons with peace.

Spiritual impotency, especially in the face of desperate need, actually bothers a Christ-follower.

Those teachers of the law, they've already moved on to the next theological squabble. They witnessed Christ's power. They must have had a fleeting moment of wondering what was amiss in their own lives. But it never ruffled them enough to inquire further. They're off to the races, off to afternoon debate about prelapsarianism, off to hear Professor Itoldyouso lecture on three views of the millinial reign, off to whatever. No time for worrying about demon-wracked children and heart-stricken fathers, no time to live lives of wonder or to give evil a reason to wish it hadn't come 'round--no time for the business of heaven when there's always business of counting angels on pinheads.

"Why couldn't we cast it out?"

The minute we stop asking that, as long as our power is insufficient to deal with the pain of a world God so loved, is the minute we've traded following Jesus for just attending meetings."

If you're interested in more....check out Mark Buchanan's book, 'Spiritual Rhythm.'

The Bounty of the Destitute

2011-11-29T11:07:00.000-08:00

"Being justified freely by His grace..." Romans 3:24

"The Gospel of the grace of God awakens an intense longing in human souls and an equally intense resentment, because the revelation which it brings is not palatable. There is a certain pride in man that will give and give, but to come and accept is another thing. I will give my life to martyrdom, I will give myself to consecration, I will do anything, but do not humiliate me to the level of the most hell-deserving sinner and tell me that all I have to do is to accept the gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.

We have to realize that we cannot earn or win anything from God; we must either receive it as a gift or do without it. The greatest blessing spiritually is the knowledge that we are destitute; until we get there... Our Lord is powerless. He can do nothing for us if we think we are sufficient of ourselves, we have to enter into His Kingdom through the door of destitution. As long as we are rich, possessed of anything in the way of pride or independence, God cannot do anything for us. It is only when we get hungry spiritually that we receive the Holy Spirit. The gift of the essential nature of God is made effectual in us by the Holy Spirit, He imparts to us the quickening life of Jesus, which puts "the beyond" within, and immediately "the beyond" has come within, it rises up to "the above," and we are lifted into the domain where Jesus lives. (John 3:5.)"

~Oswald Chambers

The Word of God

2011-11-27T19:57:00.000-08:00

'But He (Jesus) answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’” Mathew 4:4

From Mark Buchanan's, 'Spiritual Rythm,' book....

"That's Jesus' promise and warning both. He said that the community gathered around him divides in two-those who hear 'these words of mine' and put them into practice, and those who hear "these words of mine" and don't put them into practice. Everyone's a builder, Jesus says, building something. Two builders can build with equal skill, both using the right materials. The difference is not in how they build, what they build, with what they build. The difference is what they build upon. That difference, literally, is foundational: rock, or sand. That which endures, or that which erodes. That which can permanently secure whatever rests upon it, or that which eventually destroys whatever's set upon it. Christ's words practiced are a foundation of rock. His words ignored are a foundation of sand."

"Dum, ta, dummm....Internet Sin"

2011-11-23T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am thankful.... for the blessing of the Internet :)

In what other way are we able to communicate to numerous people at once, to the ends of the earth to share God's love and truth, apart from prayer?

Or, to find answers to a gazillion questions? ( For instance, as a mother of a few toddlers/babies in the past few years, I've been able to cancel numerous Dr.'s appts., for my children, by finding answers with how to deal with Croup in the middle of the night, teething problems, and such.)

How about contacting relatives and friends we haven't seen/spoken to in years, in which you'd prior have had to wait for a big reunion to be announced ? (Coming from a phone dis liker..I'm a face to face kinda gal ;D

And information! Finding information at the tips of our finger tips within seconds, that used to take people... hours...even months and years... of researching. And this, only a mere few decades ago!

I know I have one well fed and thankful family, thanks to all the fun and tasty recipes I've found online over the years. And I can't be thankful enough (as the phone dis liker I am) to be able to find out information about Dr.s, massage therapists, and restaurants BEFORE I call to make an appointment or schedule a reservation-not just that, but reservations for flights, hotels, car rentals, etc., Hallelujah!!!!! :D

On the other hand....'dum-ta-dummmm'....we have a loaded weapon right in front of us that needs to be treated as such....

With caution and wisdom.

Where else can a child or young adult be tempted and/or molested without any trace of physical scars?

Where else can someone have an emotional and or/sexual affair and tell themselves they've done nothing wrong, because they've never actually met with this other person in the flesh? As if it was just a figment of their imagination? (Which by the way, is ALSO sin, "But I tell you, anyone who even looks at a woman with a sinful desire of wanting her has already sinned in his heart." Mathew 5:28)

Where else can someone look at perverse or crude images, converse in coarse talk, and then just 'click' and hide it away in a blink of an eye?
Without the fear of sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and without the 'neighbors' viewing your business? Where every walk of life can fall from grace and into sin without consequences, (or so they believe) then just turn it 'off,' and walk out to their kitchen table and have dinner with the fam?

Talk about a chance for 'rapid speed' sin, whereas in 'the flesh' you'd have had to have taken much more effort before the end result...more choices.... first to get in your car to go and purchase the material and/or visit the person, or dial the number, then 'hide it' somewhere when you got home, etc., etc. Basically, many more opportunities along the way to say, 'no,'...to rethink it....to re choose it. Not with the Internet. Not only is everything else at your finger tips in a blink of an eye, but sin too.

Sexual sin is not the only sin we an fall prone to on the Internet. Where else can someone get into deep debates, arguments, judgements, and become fueled with anger in a blink of an eye just because they don't have the 'offender' sitting right in front of them? (Reminds me of road rage-yet another physical 'isolator').

Because we know...if we really had the 'offender' sitting right in front of us, we'd treat and deal with the situation differently.

Most of the times at least.

I believe the Internet can be a great weakness for many who are passive aggressive...who don't have a voice in public, and therefor thirst for the power and 'new persona' of an Internet identity they can hide behind and live through.

I also believe it's a thriving place for those who ARE aggressive, and are on the hunt for those on the world wide web that they can manipulate, use, and abuse.

We must be on guard, not only for ourselves (and of ourselves), but for those of us with children in the home, to the temptations and dangers of the world...as really, we're inviting 'the world' IN.

We must keep the same boundaries we have in real life over our marriage, over our children, over our friendships, and in how we interact with strangers, set up and propped up within online activities.

This CAN NOT be stressed enough!

Which brings me to the lack 'thereof' of boundaries....but, that will bring me to a different post in the future :)

As for Internet sin and avoiding the temptation...

Keep the Lord, Jesus Christ, close to your side at all times and obey Him when He tells you to close doors and/or windows....'internet windows' in fact! :)

Ask Him about all 'friendships'...'acquaintances'....and about the 'roots' of information you're taking in, processing, and absorbing as 'truth'.....let Him be your filter, just as He is in your day to day life. Not just of the obvious, but of the basic 'feels good' and 'seems good'....even when fueled with 'religious verbage'....maybe ESPECIALLY when fueled with religious verbiage!-lol!

I can't tell you how many 'religious' sites I've come across on the Internet fueled with debates/arguments/judgements and criticisms....all 'under the name of' our precious Lord. Be on guard. Look for the 'fruit' of these individuals, as there is a time for correction and rebuking, but make sure it is founded and Spirit led.

As many of the pains of sin, and the reaping that comes with it, that people have gone through on the Internet, could have been avoided if they'd only said, 'no,' earlier on.

Check in with your Father continually, and be obedient AS SOON as He prompts you... even if your mind or heart can't make sense of it at the time.

I encourage you dear brothers and sitters in Christ, to bring glory to Him in all that you say and do!

Matthew 10:16 AMP

"Behold, I am sending you out like sheep in the midst of wolves; be wary and wise as serpents, and be innocent (harmless, guileless, and without falsity) as doves."~Jesus

For more on 'internet sin,' check out this dream the Lord gave me here .

When to 'Meddle'....

2011-11-19T14:50:00.000-08:00

In regards to 'Oswald Chambers' last devotional about 'not interferring,' I felt prompted to bring some clarification between WHEN to interfere, and when NOT to interfere.

The point being, that Oswald Chambers is talking about treading lightly and being Spirit led when stepping in and interfering in another persons 'trials and/or griefs,' and is NOT referring to those believers struggling in sin.

That is to say, making sure we don't go and try to 'fix' something for somebody (whether saved or not) who the Lord is allowing this 'trial and or grief' to go through, for His own good works in them.

As for another believer IN sin (not unbelievers), we ARE to step in and hold them accountable for sin in their lives and to HELP in drawing them out of that....NOT judging them in it (the plank in our own eye, ex.), but BY our love FOR the Body of Christ and all it's parts to be working Holy and well, we ARE called to step in and 'interfere,' in this matter, and to not turn a blind eye.

And this at times...happens on the world wide web...

I'd just make sure we're not looking to meddle (that is-wasting time 'with other people's slivers, when we have a plank in our own eye'). But if we happen to come across some Christian relationships while online, and you feel prompted to bring correction/advice, I'd first check in with the Spirit of the Lord to see if a 'professor of Christ' online is truly EVEN that, before bringing correction.

As, "Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’" Mathew 7:22-23

I believe many believer's are having their time, energy, and focus stolen by being so caught up in the 'things of the world' online (myself included at one time), and NOT for the glory of the Lord like they might believe it to be.

Let our LOVE for each other, both in NOT interfering in God's works in each other AND in stepping in when a time for correction comes, BE a worshipful act to our Father, and bring Him MUCH Glory! :D

What Is That To Thee?

2011-11-15T15:30:00.000-08:00

For those of you who can't get enough of Oswald Chambers...here's another tasty morsel for Daily Devotional Day, Nov., 15th....

And for those of you longing for something else-bare with me! This is GOOD :)

"Lord, what shall this man do?...What is that to thee? Follow thou Me." John 21:21-22

"One of our severest lessons comes from the stubborn refusal to see that we must not interfere in other people's lives. It takes a long time to realize the danger of being an amateur providence, that is, interfering with God's orders for others. You see a certain person suffering, and you say-He shall not suffer, and I will see that he does not. You put your hand straight in front of God's permissive will to prevent it, and God says-"What is that to thee?" If there is stagnation spiritually, never allow it to go on, but get into God's presence and find out the reason for it. Possibly you will find it is because you have been interfering in the life of another; proposing things you had no right to propose; advising when you had no right to advise. When you do have to give advice to another, God will advise through you with the direct understanding of His Spirit; your part is to be so rightly related to God that His discernment comes through you all the time for the blessing of another soul.
Most of us live on the borders of consciousness-consciously serving, consciously devoted to God. All this is immature, it it not the real life yet. The mature stage is the life of a child which is never conscious; we become so abandoned to God that the consciousness of being used never enters in. When we are consciously being used as broken bread and poured-out wine, there is another stage to be reached where all consciousness of ourselves and of what God is doing through us is eliminated. A saint is never consciously a saint; a saint is consciously dependent on God."~Oswald Chambers

My 'Other' Blog

2011-11-11T16:33:00.000-08:00

Hello friends :)

I recently updated my other blog 'Dreams and Visions, from the Lord my God' this past month and reopened it to the public. The latest post is an updated dream from New Year's Eve night, 2004, that is an excellent exhorter of the Word of God in our lives.

Although I felt the freedom to share these dreams and visions a couple of yrs ago, the Lord hadn't quite released me yet to go full throttle. I definately needed a season of growth, direction, and refining before going on. Although we will always be learning, growing, and becoming transformed into His likeness, I finally feel better equipped and have the peace I was needing, in order to go forward and to trust Him in this process.

The main area of clarity I've received during this season, is better understanding WHO God made me to be for Him and His glory. After going through numerous seasons of doubt, fear, and uncertaintly of my calling, I am finally ready to step into the great wide abiss of the 'unknown,' because HE is with me. As He holds my hand and takes me through this life and the plans and purposes He has for it, I will trust Him.

I pray that this blog will bless you and encourage you,

With much love,

your sister in Christ, Rebecca

You may follow this link to get there :)

The Undetected Sacredness of Circumstance

2011-11-10T11:41:00.000-08:00

"All things work together for the good of them that love God." Romans 8:28

From, 'My Utmost to His Highest'; "The circumstances of a saint's life are ordained of God. In the life of a saint there is no such thing as chance. God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you cannot understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God is bringing you into places and among people and into conditions in order that the intercession of the Spirit in you may take a particular line. Never put your hand in front of the circumstances and say-I am going to be my own providence here, I must watch this, guard that. All your circumstances are in the hand of God, therefor never think it strange concerning the circumstances you are in. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to enter into the agony of intercession, but to utilize the comon-sense circumstances God puts you in, and the common-sense people He puts you amongst by His providence, to bring them before God's throne and give the Spirit in you a chance to intercede for them. In this way God is going to sweep the whole world with His saints.

Am I making the Holy Spirit's work difficult by being indefinite, or by trying to do His work for Him? I must do the human side of intercession, and the human side is the circumstances I am in and the people I am in contact with. I have to keep my conscious life as a shrine of the Holy Ghost, then as I bring the different ones before God, the Holy Spirit makes intercession for them.

Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, but the Holy Ghost makes intercession in our particular lives, without which intercession someone will be impoverished." ~Oswald Chambers

Believing

2011-10-29T10:12:00.000-07:00

"For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by His life." Romans 5:10

~Oswald Chambers, "My Utmost for His Highest"
"I am not saved by believing; I realize I am saved by believing. It is not repentance that saved me, repentance is a sign that I realize what God has done in Christ Jesus. The danger is to put the emphasis on the effect instead of on the cause. 'It is my obedience that puts me right with God, my consecration.' Never! I am put right with God because prior to all, Christ died. When I turn to God and by belief accept what God reveals I can accept, instantly the stupendous Atonement of Jesus Christ rushes me into a right relationship with God; and by the supernatural miracle of God's grace I stand justified, not because I am sorry for my sin, not because I have repented, but because of what Jesus has done. The Spirit of God brings it with a breaking, all-over light, and I know, though I do not know how, that I am saved.

The salvation of God does not stand on human logic, it stands on the sacrificial Death of Jesus. We can be born again because of the Atonement of Our Lord. Sinful men and women can be changed into new creatures, not by their repentance or their belief, but by the marvellous work of God in Christ Jesus which is prior to all experience. The impregnable safety of justification and sanctification is God Himself. We have not to work out these things ourselves; they have been worked out by the Atonement. The supernatural becomes natural by the miracle of God; there is the realization of what Jesus Christ has already done-"It is finished." '

Hallelujah!

Discipline...'ouch'...or bliss?

2011-10-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

This has been a week of HERE ....and it's been painful, I'll confess.

The most painful in months-I'd like to say years-but probably just months-lol!...but, 'oh, how comforting' was it, to stumble across this post from the summer listed above....ahhhhh...the summer season of the heart-do not forget!

God Disciplines His Children

In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

Hebrews 12:4-13

Thanks giving...and I don't mean turkey.

2011-10-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

M'kay...

Just got back from my first dental work in 5yrs (had a few bad experiences in between that ended in NO dental work being done).

That said....

God's good :)

I've been full of apprehension, fear, anxiety, dread-you name it.

And this morning while I was praying at a stop light for the Lord to numb the nerves, and a few other details...I was filled with more fear...and...

He stopped me.

He said, "No....give me, THANKSGIVING."

Wow.

Okay.....'Thank you Lord, for this dental work. Thank you for the knowledge you've bestowed upon man to help us in our mortal bodies. Thank you for the funds in which to pay for this visit. Thank you for the teeth...I have left :) Thank you for the LUXURY of nitrous oxide. Thank you, Father for never leaving me or forsaking me.'

Instant....peace.

Got home, and had a sweet e-mail from a friend encouraging me to GIVE THANKS in this dental visit.

Awesome :)

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

Fall Harvest of the Heart

2011-09-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

To help prepare and lay the foundation for our hearts this Fall season, I'm attaching an excerpt from Mark Buchanan's book, 'Spiritual Rhythm,' that I stumbled upon last night and it set my heart and mind ABLAZE in giving thanks and relishing this coming Fall Harvest of both the tangible and intangible! Of God's good bounty of physical provision and spiritual provision. He says much much more on this topic, and I encourage all lover's of our Lord to buy this book, so you can appreciate and prepare for ALL of the deeper season's of our lives.

"It's hard to be thankful, deeply thankful, and be silent. Harvest and the feasts of harvests are loud affairs. C.S. Lewis, in his book on reading the Psalms, notes this about the Psalms of thanksgiving: to speak our thanks out loud is not so much an expression of our gratitude as a completion to it. "I think we delight to praise what we enjoy," Lewis writes, "because the praise not merely expresses but completes the enjoyment; it is its appointed consummation. It is not out of compliment that lovers keep on telling one another how beautiful thay are; the delight is incomplete till it is expressed." Speech fulfills celebration. Admiration that goes unspoken, thanksgiving that remains mute, celebration that's hidden in the heart-the silence quenches the sentiment. Unspoken praise is no praise at all. It is praise stillborn. It is a Roman candle that fizzles in its canister. It is Lazurus raised from the dead but left in the tomb, swaddled in grave clothes.

If there is one season above all when we ought to "sing lustily" (to quote John Wesley), it's when we're in the Autumn of our hearts and we've brought in a good harvest. Of course, we should sing this way in all seasons. Maybe we should offer our most robust worship in wintertime, when praise is an act of defiance, a "great nevertheless" (to quote Walter Brueggeman), in the face of life's prevailing darkness. But that usually takes more energy than we can muster. Fall is another story all together. Fall-when we have sown in season, and reaped before the rain and the frost, and stored in dry places-is completed only when we break out the fiddles and the washboards and washtubs and have ourselves a good barn dance, chicken feathers flying in the hubbub."
~Mark Buchanan

Pressin' on through Denial...errr...okay, Pride...

2011-09-26T11:06:00.000-07:00

Ughhh....I'm in pain tonight.

Not really-lol! But kind of :)

I've added a new 'gadget' that allows readers to visit old blog posts. I'd seen it on some other blogs and thought, 'what the hey?'

What was I thinking....

It's painful reminiscing over old blog posts...

You know...yrs ago when you thought you were being transparent and had something to share?

Years ago when the 'blog world' was 'new' and you stumbled in upon it pouring your heart-deeds like a diary post? (groan)

Temptation gets the best of me to [delete, delete, delete]....

But, I will NOT fair weather friends! jk ;)

I will NOT bow down to pride and 'clean up the ol' blog,' in fear that new readers or old friends will stumble upon my ol' happenin's and thoughts.

I will be brave.

I will venture on and PRESS forward...and NOT deny what WAS, what IS, and what is to COME as my Heavenly Father continues to transform me! :)

Be careful where you wander....

2011-09-23T18:36:00.000-07:00

"Watch out, so that you do not lose the prize for which we have been working so hard. Be diligent so that you will receive your full reward. For if you wander beyond the teaching of Christ, you will not have fellowship with God. But if you continue in the teaching of Christ, you will have fellowship with both the Father and the Son." 2 John 8-9

Sara Frankl

2011-09-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

Just came across this beautiful woman's blog, 'Gitzen Girl: Choose Joy' and had to share. Her name is Sara Frankl, and she has days, hours, moments to live as I write. As I've read through her blog, her writing, her heart, I am filled with peace and joy for her, knowing that she will be with our Father, and is indeed looking forward to it where, 'One day is better in His courts, than thousands elsewhere.' Psalm 84:10

Here is a snippet of her writing, that I had to share with you, as it is dealing with the same subject matter the Lord is desiring to share with me this season, with ALL of His children, to draw us nearer to Him.

Oh! That we may draw nearer to Him with every breath of our life, until the day we meet our Lord, face to face, and get to fully be nestled in His heart.

"I was little and wanted to make sure I always had God's heart in me, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I was in His.

It's easy to believe as a child.

But then we grow older.

And we see our flaws.

And we hide more than we show.

And instead of believing we are in His heart we shift our thinking and we start trying to earn our way in. Into a place where He already holds us as a precious gift." ~Sara Frankl

Do You Have a 'Limp'?

2011-09-16T14:25:00.000-07:00

An imperfection? A stumbling block? An ugly? An area that you might even try to hide...even from self? Well bring it out to LIGHT and, "Praise the Lord! :)

For as Paul shares, "Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I have had quite a year of 'onion peeling' as I call it...where a layer of self and 'limps' are exposed and God does His mighty 'transformation' of it for His glory-Hallelujah! I sure as heck wouldn't like it revealed and LEFT that way! ;D

However...it's never FUN getting that layer off...stinky...burning, watery eyes over the exposure-lol!

And just when that layer starts to be healed and become fresh and clean...it's time for another peeling. It's a very humbling process...and very painful at times too. ESPECIALLY when the Lord DOESN'T take that revealed 'limp' (imperfection) away.

But, I choose to trust Him in it. I trust Him in His intentions and purposes of allowance within it...and I'm also CHOOSING not to try and hide them from others, and ESPECIALLY (dun-dun-dunnnnnnn....drum rolllllllllll....) ...........self.

For the Lord is so GOOD and encouraging within it. He leaves sweet little whispers, notes, and acknowledgements of and from Himself, to us, throughout the days and nights as He takes our hands through this 'sweat inducing' process.

And I'm so thankful.

He also has a sweet balm He uses to sooth our 'pride'...'embarrassment'....and...'denial'...WHEN we hand them over to Him and ALLOW Him...to GO there.

GO there with Him.

Pray for Revelation.

Pray for Freedom.

Pray for TRUTH.

Pray for God to be GLORIFIED through....your 'limps'!

"For when I am weak, then I am strong...."

Crimes of Summer...

2011-09-12T11:28:00.000-07:00

They 'look' innocent enough........

Cole's 1st day of Kindergarten

But let's see if you can guess who did the following crimes....

Gigantic hole found dug in back yard with huge pieces of concrete unearthed....that we had no idea existed under this parched dry earch....

Some evidence of tools....a flipped wagon and shovel found in the corner of the yard....here are the 'boulders' closer up....

And the culprit is??????

The oldest with muscles strong enough to unearth boulders AND slay the dragon to save Sleeping Beauty!

These next crimes were VERY tricky to figure out....let's see if you can guess....

Chalk writing on the NEW shed door....

ALL flowers from ALL 8 potted planters unearthed by the end of summer and soil used as a sandbox....

Soil ALSO used to decorate outdoor furniture so mommy will have a nice place to sit when she relaxes....

'Picasso' along the backside of the house using the medium of 'chalk' again....

????????

And the Youngest pleads the 5th!

Warning! The following crimes may cause hyperventilation, heart palpitations, and undue stress to innocent viewers....please take caution before proceeding.....will start light and easy for warm-up...and proceed to the most horrendous crimes imaginable...

Daddy spraying off 20ft of rubbed waterelon juice over the entire front of house that ended up attracting 30+ bees in a matter of minutes...children were excorted indoors for safty and bathed...

After setting up a nice pool for summertime splashing and refreshment....I came out to find it flipped upside down, trampled upon...and turned into a multi-purpose pad for cooking mudpies, a new residence for tadpoles, and a burial ground for drowning bugs....

What my view was after returning from the Kroc center and opening the back door to unbuckle the children....and finding out that the 'generous caregivers' gave my children each a new 4-pack box of crayons...unbeknownst to me.

After searching viciously around the house for the 'lost $65 of grocery money' that was left on the counter...came to find THIS stash under someone's pillow and stuffed in nap time books.

And LAST, but NOT least!

The backside passenger door of my nice looking 5yr old car....and yes folks...that AIN'T chalk...that be good ol' fashioned scratching from a metal grill brush :)

And the cuprit behind bars for the next 180yrs?

She's lucky she's 3 and her momma's in the process of learning and giving grace....and that's all I have to say about that!

End of Summer Snippet

2011-09-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

WoW!

That one flew by fast.

Although, I have to say I enjoyed all 3months and 10+ lbs of it ;D

Here are a few random pics of summer....

One of the 'dress up' days in the house, and YES, I have 2 boys and only ONE girl, but the older kids wanted to dress up my little one in a tu-tu 'cause he's so fat n tute!' (cute).

Here's Charlie's 'Horsey' cake he wanted for his 2nd birthday last week. Chocolate cake w/peanut butter frosting...yummy...but DANG hard to spread...thus, the 'give up' of only frosting the top and some sides-lol! I figured it gave it a more 'real' dirt n sand effect, right?

And some fun cowboy hats and cowboy/girl guns, masks, and bullets for play...they totally dessimated them within 3hrs...

The birthday boy wearing his 'I'm one wild n crazy kid!' shirt that used to be mine when I was little-fits his (and my) personality to a 'T.'

One of our 'lazy' lake beach days where they got to get as messy as they wanted (burying each other in sand here), and I got to read my Kindle for hrs on end...my FAVORITE days of this summer.

The 'dry' scared of the water boy, playing his favorite game of shoveling sand and letting it fly vicariously into the eyes of innocent onlookers.

Had to get a pic of the 'look' of the 5yr old in the house this summer going stir crazy during little ones naps-itchin' for Kindergarten to start!

Making her 'flat' sandcastles she's so proud of :D

And the prize for the dirtiest and wild ringleader of them all this summer goes to THIS rugrat!

Part II: Pure Love

2011-08-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

If you missed 'Pure love, Part I,' click here to read.

As I mentioned in Part I of 'Pure Love,' this is something from Christ I've been crying out to the Lord for years to STAY with me and to not depart. For this Pure Love not to come and go, but to truly be nested in my heart. After years of crying out for this powerful and transforming Pure Love, two years ago the Lord revealed to me an area of deception I'd believed, that had hindered this 'Pure Love' to GROW and FLOURISH...not just 'take root'.

The area of deception the Lord so kindly revealed to me, is that 'I believed I could give Christ's Pure Love to others, without fully receiving it for myself, first.'

The Lord has since enraptured, drenched, and soaked me in this Pure Love of His for the past 2 yrs on such a deeper level than I had ever let fully IN during my entire walk with Him. I thought I had...but, I hadn't.

My MIND did, but not my HEART.

That's right, WE have to choose to let Him in to even deeper depths....a piece of wisdom I've learned in this season has to do with transparency, especially before the Lord. I at one time, honestly thought there was no deeper level of transparency that I could go...confessing all, revealing all, to myself and to others publicly. I truly thought I was as 'transparent' as I possibly could be. That's been one of my strengths, and one of the main things people say about me when they get to know me...however, the wisdom and truth the Lord showed me about transparency is this, 'that we are only as transparent to others, as we are to ourselves'....and there are a PLETHORA of hidden levels within our heart that we do not yet know, but that the Father DOES know. But we have to allow Him into the areas and levels we don't even yet know about, and TRUST Him to do the work, and to REVEAL them to us.

This season has brought out such a deep TRUST of Him on all levels...as a truly INTIMATE God that you do not need to hide your face in shame to, as He knows you, and all that you have done, will do, and all that you will say and have said or thought. He knows it all. He's allowed me to grow in this area, to receive much healing from fear's damage, and to trust and believe Him when he says, 'Even as the Father Hath Loved Me, I Also Have Loved You: Abide Ye in My Love.'-John 15:9

Lesson Learned...I need to receive fully this PURE LOVE of Christ's...... for myself.........FIRST.

Sounds a bit selfish, a bit backward in our christian teachings of putting others above us and first.

But this is different.

This is the one area that you need to PRESS into and NOT let go of fighting for.

Ever.

For HE fought to GIVE it to you, and He WON. He purchased it for us-let us NEVER begin to believe the enemy in his lies that 'not loving ourselves' is a thorn in the flesh we just need to 'suffer with'-and worse yet, that it's a selfish desire.

(I liken it to the airlines protocol of putting the oxygen mask on the parent before giving it to the child. When I was about 10 and heard the airline stewardness say this to me about putting my oxygen mask on first, before helping my little brother with his, it felt wrong. I remember feeling 'guilty' about this, as everything we're ever been taught to do is, 'women and children first,' right? But then we grow up, we get 'revelation' and realize that a bunch of oxygen masked children running around on a plane with passed out parents and adults, would do NO ONE good...ESPECIALLY, the church.)

The Lord has been showing me, that until we have fully received this PURE LOVE of Himself ....FOR us...without questioning it anymore, without doubting it, no matter WHAT we do...or DON'T do...we cannot FULLY give love to others without hitting a wall, a deterent...we can only go 'so far'...we can only go so deep.

In order to have a SELFLESS love, a STRONG love, a PURE love, that even fear, insecurities, and the devil's lies cannot penetrate, we have to TRULY love ourselves.

And we love ourselves, with His love.

Oh, let His LOVE penetrate! Open the cloak of your heart ever wider still! Fully revealing all and everything, EVEN for the world to see. Do not fear. For He will take every piece of you, every moment of your life, every thought, memory, and REDEEM it.

He WILL be glorified in it, if you allow Him to.

With His love, that is UNconditional.

Oh, let your heart RECEIVE this dear readers! I know our minds can at times see bits and pieces of the beauty of this unconditional love, and romaticize it, and 'try' to recieve it...but let this SEED of TRUTH penetrate deeply into your spirit, soul, AND flesh...He LOVES you, because you are HIS.

And that's that.

He loves you, regardless of your flaws, weaknesses, imperfections, and all.

He loves you regardless of strengths, good works, attendance at church, having a ministy, being apart of a ministry, or leading others to Himself....or NOT.

He loves you with the SAME love that penetrated your heart yrs or months ago after you were first saved. It hasn't changed. We tend to think that we have to have 'great works' along the way to 'continue to please Him' or 'to continue to earn, and make sure of our salvation.'

This is not so beloved.

If this is you, please place that yoke of burden down and be SET FREE today! For HE does the work. Yes, even the 'great works' that come from us, are HIS, not our own, BORN as FRUIT from His love in us!

AS WE ABIDE IN HIM AND HE IN US.

No matter what our ministries look like, no matter how much of the Word we 'know,' no matter what 'face' we put on in front of others, if we have not yet fully received this love into the depths of our hearts to TRULY set us free, then the fruits of our endeavors are only of this world.....fleeting, and not yet eternal fruits. Unless we allow HIM to create the fruits. Not by our own efforts, but by His.

So really, there is nothing you can do to make Him love you, nor to make Him NOT love you, as He CHOSE you to be His, a beautiful bride. Turn your face to His today. Turn your heart to His today. Let Him search you...allow Him to saturate you with His love....and receive it!

REST in it's peace.

As I've been this 'tree in the desert with 'no blooms' during this season this blog is dedicated to, I'm learning so much about HIM, and what He truly desires of US...not the 'works', not the 'looks good', not our own 'energies', but just the true TAKING DELIGHT in HIM.

How do we truly take delight in Him? By ABIDING (and again, NOT OUR perception of abiding of external works of bible studies, church ministries, constant church attendance, yada-yada...), but truly seeking Him out in your heart, in your life, in your everything, regardless of 'man' seeing it, or fear of man 'not seeing' it.

Break away, my Love! Go with your Father!

Allow Him to mold you, transform you, and to break you free of all bondages, especially religious bondages...not just the things of this world, but of the things 'of this world' within 'religion' whose lies have at times embedded themselves so deeply within my dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Allow Him to come in and uproot ANY untrue and impure thing. Trust Him where it takes you, for He will hold your hand along the way.

Do not fear...do not be humiliated. Instead, walk in the humility that Jesus has done so beautifully on behalf of us.

Let go of self.

Let go of pride.

Give yourself to Him fully!

And TRULY walk in His love, so that you can love others with a PURE LOVE, untainted, perfect, powerful, and true....and therefor, annointed Love.

The Great 'I AM's love...the Perfect Love of Christ.

'Even as the Father Hath Loved Me, I Also Have Loved You: Abide Ye in My Love.'-John 15:9

Withered Branches

2011-08-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

I just HAD to post this devotional today, as it gives full on clarity of WORDS to the achings of my heart over the years towards fellow believers who are 'lukewarm', and the urgency ever more so of truly learning what is, and letting go, to fully ABIDE.

Arise, His loves! And awaken!

Withered Branches

If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned-John 15:6

The lessons these words teach are very simple and very solemn. A man can come to such a connection with Christ, that he counts himself to be in Him, and yet he can be cast forth. There is such a thing as not abiding in Christ, which leads to withering up and burning. There is such a thing as a withered branch, one in whom the initial union in Christ appears to have taken place, and in whom yet is seen that his faith was but for a time. What a solemn call to look around and see it there be not withered branches in our churches, to look within and see whether we are indeed abiding and bearing fruit.

And what may be the cause of this "not abiding." With some it is that they never understood how the Christian calling leads to holy obedience and to loving sacrifice. They were content with the thought that they had believed, and were safe from Hell; there was neither motive nor power to abide in Christ-they knew not the need of it. With others it was that the cares of the world, or its prosperity, choked the Word: they had never forsaken all to follow Christ. With still others it was that their religion and their faith was in the wisdom of men, and not in the power of God. They trusted in the means of grace, or in their own sincerity, or in the soundness of their faith in justifying grace; they had never come even to seek an entire abiding in Christ as their only safety. No wonder that, when the hot winds of temptation or persecution blew, they withered away: they were not truly rooted in Christ.

Let us open our eyes and see if there be not withered branches all around us in the churches. Young men whose confessions were once bright, but who are growing cold. Or old men, who have retained their profession, but out of whom the measure of life there once appeared to be has died out. Let ministers and believers take Christ's words to heart, and see, and ask the Lord whether there is nothing to be done for branches that are beginning to wither. And let the word Abide ring through the church until every believer has caught it-no safety but in a true abiding in Christ.

Let each of us turn within. Is our life fresh, and green, and vigorous, bringing forth its fruit in its season? (See Ps. 1:3, 92:13-14; Jer. 17:7-8). Let us accept every warning with a willing mind, and let Christ's "if a man abide not" give new urgency to His "Abide in me." To the upright soul the secret of abiding will become ever simpler, just the consciousness of the place in which He has put me; just the childlike resting in my union with Him, and the trustful assurance that He will keep me. Oh, do let us believe there is a life that knows of no withering, that is ever green; and that brings forth fruit abundantly!

Withered! O my Father, watch over me, and keep me, and let nothing ever for a moment hinder the freshness that comes from a full abiding in the Vine. Let the very thought of a withered branch fill me with holy fear and watchfulness.

'The True Vine: Meditations for a month on John 15:1-16' by Andrew Murray

Painted Door!

2011-08-12T21:23:00.000-07:00

So here is my sunroom a couple of yrs ago before we first moved into this old farmhouse....and sweet little 2yr old Mabel Ann ;).....

You can see that with all this dark wood it was 'hardly'

a sunroom, especially with the cat urine smell that constantly 'wafted' through the room from the 50yr old carpet....did I mention that the carpets gone now, too?

YES! (fist pump)

And some of you might recognize the white wicker chairs under the cupboards, that are NOW spray painted turqouise from last months wild decorating endeavors :D

Here is the 'after' from last summer.....but something was still missing. I WISH I'd had a 'before' pic of the sunroom door....it was an old dingy light grey with rust along the bottom edges and ding marks....yeah! (little hiddon ugly pom poms)

...but, after reading this favorite decorating blog for tips, I was quickly inspired to just DO IT!

And HERE she blows!

Haaaaalllllllelujah! Hallelujah, Halle-le-u-jaaaahhh!

Part I : Pure Love

2011-08-10T10:36:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I've been going through a season of some rough pruning...GOOD pruning, but rough.

At times, even humiliating and painful.

But I'm learning that 'humiliation's' roots come from 'pride.'

And 'pain's' roots, at times, comes from holding on to 'what is not ours to hold on to,' including, anything and everything to do with OURSELVES.

Jesus didn't have an ounce of 'pride' in Him, and therefor, He was not even humiliated at His most vulnerable moment in life, His crucifixtion on the cross. And all that went with it....being spat on, cursed, beaten, clothes ripped off, crown of thorns placed on His head, mocking who He claimed He was, and IS.

Instead, what could have been deemed as humilating (and I'll be honest, I used to perceive His death as humilating from my own wordly thinking) is actually.... the most beautiful and glorious moment OF His life.

Including that 'crown of thorns'-they're BEAUTIFUL.

Jesus showed IN His humility... pure strength, pure selflessness, PURE LOVE.

I want this PURE LOVE.

I've been continually crying out for this PURE LOVE during all the years of my salvation. And although, I've received glimpses, moments, and sometimes long seasons of it throughout my walk, the moments where I literally 'fall in love' with yet another beautiful creation of the Lord.... and YEARN to share truth with them, to come alongside them to help in bringing healing, love, wisdom, encouragment and revelation, it's only that, a season.

A TASTE of His love, a TASTE of His goodness.

And then I'm back to facing myself in the mirror, staring at the STILL existing areas of 'gunk' in my own life that need refinement, cleansing, bondages broken, and truth spoken into them.

And I'm disheartened.

I feel two-faced.

Has this been an act all these years? But I know the truth instantly, 'No.' As His goodness and love have transformed my life-there is no denying that. But why do I feel this way, still?

Oh! If only I could be walking this life with the Lord like Paul, who had "learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.^{" NLV Phil 4:11-14}

As well as to TRULY boast about my weaknesses. Not just talk about them 'deflated like'... forcing myself to DO the act, but to BOAST about them, in confidence, as Paul also mentions, 'So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:7-10

I KNOW these truths.....my MIND believes these truths...but why doesn't my heart?

Why can't this goodness I taste and yearn for, this PURE LOVE, stay in my life?! Why does it come and go in ebbs and waves of pure torturous goodness?! I wan't it to NEVER leave! I want it every day and every second of my life!

Throughout my dreams, in my waking hours, in my words and thoughts, in my EVERYTHING.

After years of crying out for this PURE LOVE to STAY, the Lord, in His goodness, revealed to me a 'root of deception' I had believed, that was deterring me in fully receiving this PURE LOVE.

But so that your eyes don't get weak w/all this writing, I'll reveal it in Part II next time!

Stay tuned!

"Rain Drops Keep Fallin' on my Head...."

2011-08-08T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm overwhelmed by God's goodness and mercy today.

As I was reading a portion of Acts, I stumbled upon this simple concept I've taken for granted, in the words by Paul and Barnabus to the people of Lystra, who were wanting to sacrifice to them, thinking they were the Greek God's, in the flesh, that they'd worshiped for years. After seeing Paul speak to a crippled man from birth (that Paul noticed had faith) to, 'Stand up!' (and he did) the people believed that Paul and Barnabus were the Greek God's, Zeus and Hermes.

After refusing to be worshiped, and completely distraught (tearing their clothing, which was the most intensified public way of disagreeing and saying this was a 'disgrace to God') and shouting out to the crowds that they were 'mere humans as they were,' Paul and Barnabus shouted this,

"Friend's, why are you doing this? We are merely human beings like yourselves! We have come to bring you the Good News that you should turn from these worthless things to the living God, who made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. In earlier days he permitted all the nations to go their own ways, but he never left himself without a witness. There were always his reminders, such as sending you rain and good crops and giving you food and joyful hearts." But even so, Paul and Barnabus could scarcely keep the people from sacrificing to them. Acts 14:15-18

This highlighted 'purple' part...

makes me bawl. :'(

I have to say, I'm always overwhelmed by this GREAT God I serve.....that even in sin, even while worshipping idols..... even APART from Him, that He would NEVER.... fully depart from us...that 'He never left himself without a witness'....

That even us 'Gentiles'...those that were unchosen...were and are, able to look around and SEE, HEAR, SMELL, and ENJOY...

The beauty of the earth, the rain on our face, the earthy, dusty, warm and humid smell that rises up from the ground as the raindrops hit... the softness of the grass, the fragilness of the flowers, caterpillars, and butterflies....the first fresh cool breeze of the fall...the smell of chimney smoke that makes us 'eeek!' in excitement in our very souls....and the look of the beautiful and soft white pearly snow that flutters from the sky so quietly, reminding us that there is something else...something else apart from this whirly, swirly, busy, and fast-paced life that races by, around, and at times, in us...to be able to smell and enjoy the newborny 'freshness' of a new babe, to look upon glistening and wet innocent eyes....to smile in anticipation and JOY of a friend or loved ones arrival....ALL these GOOD things...the Lord has given us...even, apart from Him.

Left as a witness of His love for us....to remind us to never stop seeking for truth, knowledge, and relationship with Him, and that through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ, that paid for our sins in full, and covers us in His cleansing blood, we can enter into the 'holy of holies' and BE with our God.

Into the Great Wide Open...

2011-08-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

The other day, my son Cole kept running in and out of the house asking for 'supplies' that he could use to make something. First, He asked for string, scissors, and tape. This sounded legit enough to me for a project, so I allowed him to go into the 'drawer' to get them. I little while later I saw him come in and grab some of 'his' supplies from his room...a toy and......some socks?

My curiosity was peaked.

I asked him what he was making.

And he replied, rather seriously, 'A kite.'

Hmm.....I HAD to see this, but he said, 'No, not yet mom. Wait til I'm finished.'

When he WAS finished, he came in, grabbed my hand and dragged me outside to see the finished project.

Here it is.....

And here is the backside with the 'incredible' tape work.

I asked him if he'd tried flying it yet, and he responded, 'No, not yet.' At that moment, I thought of interjecting to give some advice and teach him about aerodynamics, etc., as I couldn't bare to see his deflated face when he did try.

But, the Lord stopped me.

There is something so significantly important about learning for one's self, through trial and error, before the books and 'perfectly sound' logic come into play. I mean, he could be on to something new here...maybe not in the flying realm, but maybe this is the beginning of learning bits and pieces for fresh ideas in the future, and I didn't want to stop it.

You know, 'pride' has been a biggy for me my whole life. The kind of biggy that wouldn't allow me to speak until I was 4, when I popped out with a whole sentence (must've had to figure out 'speech' first, before I stumbled in it in front of other's-lol! ;D) It affected many parts of my walk with the Lord over the years too, disguised as 'false humility,' unbeknownst to me. I hadn't realized it, but thankfully, the Lord's been doing a good work in me to uproot it. (Yank it out baby! Me no wanty!)

It affected many parts of my relationship with our Father that I had no concept of....namely, fear of failing Him.

Fear of stepping out IN faith when led, thinking that if this 'something' wasn't from the Lord, people will think I'm nutty, and therefor I'd be dragging the Lord's name through 'nuttyness' too.

Not so.

I'm learning that our trials, our stumblings, our mistakes, when done with the right heart, are beautiful to Him. Just like Cole's attept at making a kite. Innocent of heart and yearning to create.

I've also learned, that because I love Him, and my heart is purposeful towards Him, that He will use ALL things for my GOOD, even my mistakes, my stumblings, and my trials. He will do a great work in you and I, IF we allow Him.

The Lord COULD come alongside us every step of the way and say, "step here, step there, do this, do that".....but, I've found for the most part. He doesn't. Sure there have been times, by His magnificent grace where He HAS interceded and CLEARLY given direction. But for the majority of this journey I'm on, I'm just aware of His protective and gracious presence standing by, ready to hold my hand if I need it, to step in and redirect if I'm about to go astray, but mainly just sitting back and watching this particular creation of His come into fruition for Him.

And when you have roots of pride (which also stem from fear) as I, this process is VERY uncomfortable. I've wanted to have clear directions in everything I do, and even MORE so, to CONTROL my flesh to it's death in order not to sin. And when I've stumbled, I allowed the enemy to smear my face in the ground in condemnation...and would fear to look back up towards my Lord, whom I deemed I had failed.

Not anymore.

He is freeing me of the bondages of pride and fear.

I am in a season of 'free-falling,' trusting that He will NEVER let me go, stepping out into the great abiss with Him with arms open wide, venturing into new territory, and learning REAL truths, and having all sorts of cultural and religious 'truths' (lies) ripped off of me...and I likey :)

Step into a 'free-fall' of growing, healing, learning, and transformation with your Jesus by allowing Him to fully search your heart and mind. Do NOT fear what He brings up and reveals, no matter how dark, how scary...no matter how 'far along' you are in your walk.

Trust His leading, Trust His sovereignty, Trust His GOODNESS.

Trust His voice that woos you to Him.

To GO there.

Trust His healing balm of truth and righteousness....and His soothing balm of grace and mercy along the way.

Go away with Him.

NEVER look back.

Allow His beautiful creation of YOU to come into full fruition, so that you will bare Him eternal fruits of glory and goodness all the days of your life, and into the beyond.

Sour Grapes?

2011-08-04T17:15:00.000-07:00

Hey, my dear fellow lovers of 'spiritual busyness'....yet another good reason to be obedient to the pruning and cutting back in our lives when the Lord prompts it, whether we think we need it or not....I'll let this author, Mark Buchanon, speak for himself, from his book, 'Spiritual Rythm.'

Don't Mistake Leafiness for Fruitfulness

"The first year I lived on Van Couver Island, I built a grape arbor and bought two tiny grape plants from my local vitner, whom I reckoned must know a good grape plant when she saw one. I asked her for plants that produced the sweetest, most delectable grapes, good for eating or juicing. She sold me a breed she said were like candy when eaten, nectar when drunk. I tenderly planted and lovingly tended those sprigs until they grew into sinewy rough-barked trees that twined their thick trunks through the lattice of my arbor. Every year since, they've brought forth dense clusters of grapes. Every year since, I've waited in eager anticipation to drench my mouth in their sticky juice.

And every year since, I'm dissapointed. I wait until they look ready-a bursting plumpness, a dark purple hue. I pluck one and pop it in my mouth. And I wince like I'm sucking lemons. It's hard as stone and bitter as gall.

After several summers of this, I asked another green thumb what I was doing wrong. He told me I wasn't cutting back the leaves to let the sun shine on the grapes.

The problem is, I like all those leaves. They throw a cooling shade. They 'look' great. And they seem to furnish irrefutable proof that I have a green thumb in my own right. But what I've nurtured, with my green thumb, is a mass of big green leaves at the cost of a good crop. I can either have much shade and little fruit, or I can have much fruit and little shade.

I just can't have both.

Jesus cursed a fig tree that was thick with leaf but absent fruit. In the end, the abundance of leafiness means nothing. It's by our fruit that we are known."

Wow-that's a new revelation to me, in regards to Jesus cursing the fig tree with no fruit. I finally get it. I'd always thought it was a 'bad tree' that didn't give the living God literal fruit to eat when he needed it-which it didn't...but I now get the power and significance behind what was aching our Lord's heart....don't want to be too leafy with bitter fruit! How bout you, folks?!

FUNKY Kitchen Cabinets!

2011-07-23T11:37:00.000-07:00

The results of an over hormonal housewife wrestling an old run down farmhouse kitchen with no $$$$ to spend...just crack out the kids paints....

Here is the 'Before' I wrestled with....

For the rest of this kitchen story you may read on.....and if interested in other fun projects, just click this party link to see more :D

Okay-get ready! Grab yo'self a cup o' tea or snipper of wine, cause this is gonna be a LOOONG one! ;)

I'm finished with a few projects in this farmhouse, namely ....part of the kitchen! (pant, pant)....

So I thought I'd share with you the creative process I've gone through, and where the 'edge' of these hormones have helped in finishing with 3 kids under the age of 5 running around my feet and interrupting, I'm sorry, did I say that? I mean LIVING...they can't help it! ;D Asking to be 'wiped' for the third time of the day, breaking up fights and toy theft scandels, feeding the mongrels-er-scuse me, my precious children, the 'chow' they need to keep on running, screaming at full throttle, and fully enjoying themselves this summer while momma's a bit 'manic. :D Well, anyways.....

Some of you remember me posting pics from 2yrs ago when we first moved in this old farmhouse, and for those of you who haven't seen 'em, or for those of you who've forgotten them, I'm adding them on for your delight and enjoyment!

Here are my dear Coley and Mabel Ann sitting in our farmhouse kitchen with the 'blah-washed out-pukey neutral' kitchen of mine a few months after we moved in.

I've tried to stay hopeful the past 2yrs...tried to 'go-with' the faded linoleam walls and the light green 'faux' wooden panels on top....aren't the leaves so...cute? Kinda....but, NO! Hormones come in to remind you of all those annoying little 'problem' areas in your life..and when you walk by them, or 'see' them...you get a little 'tick' in your neck and shoulders...the corners of your cheeks start tweekin', and JUST about when you're gonna LOSE IT....you say, "NO! I will deal with this problem!" And you take $$$ from that weeks food budget...(unbeknowst to the husband, while planning on some light 'breakfast for dinner' meals instead)...and head to the nearest paint store!

The cheapest 'quick-fix' in the world!

Ta-Da!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just LOVE the bright CHEERINESS it adds-and totally fits the character of THIS house and OUR family (as I know it's not for everyone ;) ....and, pay no attention to the missing light panels on top with the ugly hanging wires...that's a 'tick' in my head that's gonna be 'dealt' with soon as I am on day 67 on this 'female cycle' and the hormones are STILL roller coasterin'!

Hold on tight folks-whhheeeeee!!!!!

Now.....here are the ugly partical wood cupboards in the kitchen up on top when we moved in, thankfully...the bottom cupboards were of real wood, and I'm beginning to appreciate them and won't touch them....(don't you LOVE the soggy 30yr old blue kitchen carpet? And yes folks, there was carpet in the BATHOOM too when we moved in-lol!)

*Also noted; NO vent fixture above the stove! EEEK! :O I learned my lesson the hard way that first winter when I tried to fry some taco shells...and if that lesson weren't enough...I tried to cook a steak on a pan later on...both attempts ended in having to air the household out in 20-30degree weather.. :(

These were my attempts at 'cleaning it up' the week before we moved in...this pic is taken 4 days before my DUE date with Charlie, after I had woken up at 4am with another 'itch' to go and paint these cupboards one morning. And yes people...these 'itches' affect my dreams...that's where most of my creative process comes through...I organize, clean, get ideas and decorate in my dreams...my husband doesn't think that's very restful, and it's not at times...but it sure is fun!

*Note; you can see I painted the insides a light green (made it so nice and fresh after opening them the first time and seeing all the dust and spider webs on dark old dry and rough partical wood).

And here was the finished exterior, just painted white....but it's been a BLAND kitchen....so, after painting the 'faux' wood walls lime green...I had an 'itch' to do something with these cupboards....so I looked for inspiration.

I loved the yellow and green combo....

as well as...

this cute pink pantry in the kitchen

click here for before pics of pantry...

And these cute little 'vintage looking' jars I've been collecting this year for flower vases that I put above the kitchen sink...

So I started putting my favorite things together from the kitchen and started seeing a color/theme going on... (which is hard to tell because there is A LOT going on here-lol!) But the strawberry jam jar reminded me of the pink pantry and my kitchen's new lime green walls....

And these cute daisies in the jars...and the FUN labels....eeeeek! Can you feel the excitement?

And the bunny holding a strawberry....and wait! This bunny matches the 'Brer Rabbit' bunny on the above 'Mollases' jar......now this CAN get scary, decorating that is...as it can go EVERYWHERE and have no end....but, I was getting some inspiration....(especially as I'm not necessarily a 'bunny' person..but, this is a farmhouse, and you shouldn't fight your environment!)....but, I needed MORE!

So at this point I'm thinking...strawberries...greens, yellows...vintage jars......and I don't have enough 'vintage looking' jars, so I open the fridge to find some green and yellow inspiration....

And, 'wha-lah!' The last pieces of inspiration needed for my cupboards!

Are you ready for the cupboard reveal?!?!

Ta-da!!!!!!

Cupboard #1

Cupboard #2...a bit child coloring book looking....but, I love it!

Cupboard #3

Cupboard #4

Cupboard #5

Cupboard #6

I added some 'daisies' here on the bottom of this label that weren't on the original, to tie in this farmhouse daisy love....I just thought the daisies looked so cute in the jar with the original label, I HAD to tie them in SOME how!

And here you can see how cute the cupboards look with the lime green wall next to it by the window.

The view looking into the pink pantry, you can see a bit of the cupboards and green wall (and the NEW vent over the stove..and NO MORE blue carpet in the kitchen...Yeah! happy dance!)

And here they are all lined up next to each other...the KIDS love 'em...my HUNNY loves 'em...and they bring such JOY to me every morning that I get up and walk into the kitchen to make my coffee...I squeal with delight! I think the kitchen is one of the few places where you can bust out in FUN in decorating by breaking all the rules! Who am I kidding?! I think EVERY room is a place for that-lol!

Nothing brings me more joy while viewing other people's home decoratings, than when I see that their homes REFLECT who they are by stepping out in faith in it, to bring to their families a joyful and beautiful environment and retreat from the world. Not doing and settling for what everyone else is doing. Although if you find ideas from others you love..then by all means, copy, and see where it leads you in other areas by added inspiration to make it your own!

I still have a few stages left with this kitchen...sealing the cupboards..as I used kids brushes and various childrens 'washable' paint and cheap acryllics I already had an hand-eeek! (Cupboards cost 0.00$ to do...another Happy Dance!)

....counting the hours....

2011-07-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

Bloated

mucho weight gain

crazy insane dreams

tears...

extreme highs

and lows.....

Day 61.....that's all I'm sayin'....(shrug)....

'Cycles'...and I ain't talkin' bicycles! ;D

2011-07-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Well.....I'm just logging on to share with you all that I'm still riding this hormonal 'wave' of a roller coaster of creativity. I am on day 56 of my 'cycle'...that's right. I'm aware that most women have approx. 28 days to their cycle, but I've always been a bit 'off'....well, MORE than a bit...I'd have a cycle anywhere between 4-8x's a year, and the actual period would last anywhere from 12-20days...yeah, catch up...and lot's of iron pills-lol! ;D

However, finally getting pregnant with my first 6yrs ago, really settled and rolled out all the kinks in this here system, or so I thought. In between each baby, I'd start my cycle up again around 8-9months after they were born, and started having a more 'regulated' cycle that was pretty much on course (only a few days off) every 35-43days....however, I was nursing the entire time, and then became pregnant again, and weaned while I was in the 2nd trimester for the next baby....my body had never 'gone back' to NO baby mode, be that pregnancy or nursing.

That said, I weaned Charlie a month ago :( It was sad, but IT was time. However, I haven't 'started' again...and I'm on day 56....no period, no pregnancy.... (I've taken 2 pregnancy tests in the past week and a half)...nadda.

I've also put on 7-9lbs in the past month...not like me, I'm usually just up or down 2-3lbs...and my wedding ring won't even BUDGE from my finger..I think half of it is water retention...and the other half, reaping what I sowed this month in my intense CARB cravings-hahaha...hormones people, hormones!!! They're powerful!The exta weight gain being the 'down side' as it doesn't feel good being all 'tight' in my clothes and pants...the 'UP' side is the PMS!!! :D Yes, I'll say that again, the PMS! :D

People!!!! I painted my kitchen lime green 2days ago on a whim! No planning, just DOING. It felt good. I love it. PMS brings out the some of my most creative moments. There is also a gigantic list of 'to-do's from the past year I have knocked out of the block witht these extra hormones! :) Feels GOOD. I'd show ya pics, but I have other creative ideas BURSTING from the seams that I need to do this week before the creative 'wave' leaves and the real one comes-lol! ;D Then I'll post pics....hopefully it won't be a gigantic mess of 'to-do's' left once I crash-lol!

Over the course of my life, I've both loved and hated my periods, including the PMS. But as of the past few years, I've really come to TRUST and LOVE what God has done for us as women. HOW He created us is beautiful.

I also love that although at most times in a women's life she might be more 'passive' in her thoughts/ideas/concerns in life than a man would be-(don't let that irritate you, it's truth for the majority of women, but NOT all!) Be that passive aggressive (which is EXTREMELY unhealthy...and scary to boot! I know, 'been der, done dat.') Or just plain ol' passive...which is irritating as heck-sorry-but that's my perception. I don't believe any kind of 'passiveness' is healthy...and that's why I love what the Lord does with our hormones and cycles! I believe the Lord uses our waves of hormones in the PMS stage to 'clean house'..both literally AND reflectively...somewhat, agressively...not 'passive' at all! :D As many of my christian sisters and my mother all say....'it' has a purpose...more than just the cleansing of our bodies, it's the cleansing of our lives and the 'stuff'' in it....God, is THE genius!

That 'spot' on the fridge you ignored all month as you walked by? GONE!

When PMS comes around, this flies out of your mouth..."What the heck is that?! Who did it? How long's it been there? Where's my rag?!" As well as....dealing with many 'life/relationship' issues/concerns with our spouses, children, and friends. :D :D :D :D :D

However, this one can be a tricky course-lol! ;) Because the OTHER part of our NON-passiveness and more aggressive behavior during this stage of our cycle...is to 'not sin in our anger.'

(Let me quickly address the anger part before someone takes this as me saying 'anger' is not a problem.)

For years, in order NOT to sin, I 'stifled' my anger...I held it back...I didn't DEAL WITH IT because I feared letting it 'out' would cause me to lose control again as I'd done so many times in the past, and as we know 'self-control' is a fruit of the Spirit. But do you know what the Lord's been teaching me in this department over the years? Well...He showed me the MANY times, while reading His word, His RIGHTEOUS anger....there IS an anger that's GOOD. Yes, I'll say that again. There IS an anger that's GOOD...not OUR perception and 'feelings' of what is 'right and wrong'...but HIS TRUTHS of what is right and wrong.....the anger against darkness that only a HOLY God can reveal and has the RIGHT to reveal. The anger you might feel when seeing or hearing of a child being abused, a women raped, a man belittled, or someone being bullied...as well as self-sabotage (agreeing with the enemy and his lies over your life)...doubt, fear, self-hatred, low self-esteem, etc.,....and all the other MORE horrific atrocities I won't reiterate that take place around the world DAILY. Also included in this realm, and probably the heart core of these horrific things...abuse of power, and the belittling, sucking out of, and death of LIFE...)

When DARKNESS finds a foothold dear sisters...let your mouth OPEN and let the Lion, the HOLY spirit of God within you, ROOOAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe the Lord uses this precious time to draw up and out all of the concerns/issues we've been shoving deep down or aside. And after trial and error-lol! ;D I've found it best to FIRST vocalize it outloud to our Lord BEFORE vocalizing to those around us OR towards ourselves (which can quickly turn into a PMS of self-sabboge and allowing a foothold for the enemy), which CAN in turn, turn to sin.

And honestly, the majority of the issues/concerns that have been brought to my attention during the years and 'cycles'...the Lord had actually just used to 'draw it to my attention,' so that I would BRING it to Him. To lay it in HIS lap. To let HIM deal with it...which He won't, until we hand it over fully. That this particular concern/issue is to be 'roared' to the heavens in prayer, and NOT to an individual or a situation. At other times, I'm been prompted to move, and to move quickly, in voicing a concern/issue TO that person or area in my life without lingering. Not literally 'roaring' at them (to all my dear literal friends, much as myself-lol)...but voicing it outloud through strength and love and WITHOUT a spirit of fear.

Well, my coffee's cold, and I better get jumping back into my 'projects' before the wave is over. But, I pray that this message, that I didn't know I had, (came on to chat about the lime green kitchen-lol...but you gotta go where the spirit directs, right?) Brings FREEDOM and breaks any bondage of fear and guilt off of you from the enemy while you are IN this beautiful cycle of the flesh and blood bodies our sweet Lord has gifted us with.

Trust Him in it...trust Him in it ALL...even the gunk that comes arisen' to the surface. He's known about it forever, even before that flesh and blood body of yours got it's heart a beatin'. Hand it to Him, hand it to Him fully....hold NOTHING back...even if they are 'yuck' thoughts...that you're even embarrassed to voice outloud to yourself, that you're quick to squelch back down to that bottomless abiss in your heart, that you're horrified you even thought of them, that hurt too deeply to think of... and you're confused if it's the enemy or actually yourself? THAT'S WHEN YOU NEED TO ROAR, dear sister. Say them...say them to your Father and confess it all....the Lord's so good in His love, grace, and mercy towards us that He will bring clarity 'swiftly' to you about whether it's actually of your heart, wherein you get to confess and repent of-goody! :) OR..if it's just a lie of the enemy...and BY YOU obeying and bringing it out to LIGHT, it can no longer HIDE it's ugly self in the DARK and bring you pain, grief, and torment for any more years to come-praise the Lord!

Hallelujah! Come away, with your Lord!

Ah, I hear my lover coming!

He is leaping over the mountains,

bounding over the hills.

My lover is like a swift gazelle

or a young stag.

Look, there he is behind the wall,

looking through the window,

peering into the room.

Come away with me, my fair one!

Look, the winter is past,

and the rains are over and gone.

The flowers are springing up,

the season of singing birds has come,

and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.

The fig trees are forming young fruit,

and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming.

Rise up, my darling!

Come away with me, my fair one!”

Song of Solomon 2, 8:13

Ta-da! The TURQUOISE chair!

2011-07-05T09:43:00.000-07:00

Okay-it WAS way blue!

But, I LIKE it!

Here is what it looked like WHITE in the room before....

Here is is white with the seat cushion I had in it....

Here is the before and after...still need to buy another can to finish off the second chair...one can only finished one chair...but still worth the $4 a chair!

Here it is now in the room and w/seat cushion...nice....

oooh! Look at the pop w/the yellow pillow, too! I loves!

Now, on to the next adventure!

Crappola!

2011-07-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

Oh...crappola....we'll see tomorrow :)

But...let me tell you the story first.....

Okay-YES......the best of me (or did it? ;) ) got carried away with sipping a glass or two of red 'zin' after the kids went to bed on a much 'better' bedtime routine of us parents going back to 'old school' and ignoring the 'kicking on the walls/door and the much needed 'I need to go poopee' for the third time this evening' pleas from the bedroom. They ARE asleep now and nestled snuggly.

(If you know me, you know I love my kids to DEATH...and if you don't...trust me, I do....but I've got a few BEAUTIFULLY and passionate ones, much like myself at their age, that need to have their energies focused elsewhere.)

But that said,....I was enjoying myself over a glass of wine or two and taking a breather in my cute little 'sunroom' as the sun was 'literally' setting...(we call it a 'mudroom' the rest of the year which depresses me : ( P (sad face WITH tongue sticking out)) click here for pictures of the 'before/after' pictures of the mudroom last summer... and sifting through some home decorating books...including, 'Debbie Travis,' 'Painted House'', as I've been being pushed OVER the edge this week in my creative processes, be that my 'manic week' of extreme hormones and 'revitalizing' EVERY room in the house with a new color scheme or add on decor in my mind daily and throughout my sleep (as 3 babies in the past 5 yrs have 'settled' down the intensity of that push...(I once had a hot pink office and turqouise kitchen...I know, I know, horrid...and I felt like I was living in a carribean restaurant...BUT.....creative juices are GOOD...and I believe, soley from my sweet Lord! As He is the CREATOR OF ALL...and I love grabbing on to His creative wave of a push in my life and ridinnnnnng it :D )

...and I love to tell my 5yr old son and fellow art lover and kindred spirit painter...that the Lord created ALL of those colors on his multi-colored paint pallet he got from 'Mimi' for his birthday, and MORE! Woot-woot! (Getting me excited over the heavenly future colors, sites, smells, and sounds to come when we GET to the heavenlies! :D )

That said...I was quickly inspired to do a quick-fix...you know..no time to paint a WHOLE bedroom...but time enough for a fun 15min project!? :D........soooooo.....I grabbed this can.....

and my old white wicker chairs from the sunroom.......Oh?! Are you panicking? Do not fret, monsiour and madame!

and sprayed 'em in the dark....:D....eeeeek!

(full on excitement of living 'on the edge' as a mommy that will be taking care of babies and kids throughout the night and into the morning as usual...these are my 3hrs of FREEEDOM!)

then took this picture with a flash....

oh-oh....

ooops...

what the heck?

The flash seemed to pop out more color than I was expecting...

So I went into some lighter 'light'...my bathroom....and saw my finger from the spray paint can....ummm...

is this color REALLY that much darker and vibrant than my 'Robin's Egg' blue bathroom walls?!?!!? -lol! :D

But, you know what? Isn't He great?!

I noticed while I was taking the picture of my finger of the spray paint color against my lighter colored walls, of the writing in the background....YES...'His love IS much greater and His grace MORE sufficient' when we need it-lol!

I can't wait to see them tomorrow morning.

(I only spray painted one, so I can check it out and see what damage or beauty was done before I further this endeavor.... )

Pictures to come!

When LAW comes from a stony heart...

2011-07-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

This article blew me away.

It is about an e-mail from one future mother-n-law to her future daughter-n-law after a recent visit and her 'lack of manners'...OUCH!

And although, I must say, I AGREE with MOST (but not all) of this future mother-n-laws comments, she didn't give them from a place of love, but rather judgment. I feel for this daughter-n-law too, because...I have a feeling, that although she might have been rude in some of her manners, I believe this is more of a generational and cultural clash, than it is a 'manners' clash.

I pray she doesn't stay offended (which helps in the makings of a stony heart) and actually GROWS through this by taking the wisdom offered to her, and has grace for her mother-n-law and HER generational expectations. In fact, I pray they both learn from each other.

When manners become 'prideful LAW' instead of from a heart of 'grace and love' FOR your neighbor, they're useless.

I couldn't help but think of God's laws when applied without LOVE.

Totally scary, absolutely religious, and from a fearful heart desiring control.

I LOVE........ that God is NOT like this.

Although, at one time before knowing Him intimately, I thought He WAS like this.

I am very thankful to serve a God who's 'GREATEST COMMANDMENT' is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: (to) ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Mathew 22:37-39

Wow-it totally sums up the laws AND how we treat one another, including 'manners.'

Here are some bits and pieces from the e-mail titled, 'Lack of Manners':

"It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so. Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.

You do not remark that you do not have enough food.

You do not start before everyone else.

You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.

You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.

[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.

You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.

It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.

I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.

She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.

As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.

You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.

No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie."

What do you think?

Zi-Spa

2011-06-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

OH.........MY, GOODNESS.......Zi Spa......and Pat.....that's ALL I have to say...well....a wee little bit more....due to a BLESSING of a 32nd birthday gift from a dear friend....I was pampered at 'Zi Spa' today w/a Deep Tissue Massage followed by a pedi w/neon purple toe nails and a couple glasses of champagne ;)...mommy bliss. Of course, I'm ending it w/wiping 'bottoms' and making dinner for the fam before baths (and a horrid bedtime routine we got goin')-but I'm in pure BLISS! :D :D :D

MUST DO if ever you visit Zi Spa. And ASK for PAT :) She's so professional, gentle (first massouse where I didn't feel drawn into 'yappin' and I got to totally INHALE the experience...literally as she had me breath in deeply to some herbal orangy essential oil before my massage got goin)...ANNNDDDD....she is GIFTED in this art, it was like a beautiful dance across my body...DEEEP, ELBOWY, tears between pure bliss and pain...felt like I couldn't walk after...and get this...she even did some 'hair pullin' with the head massage...scary at first...YES-lol!...but only for a second! It was wonderful!:D When I said good-bye to her, I squeezed her hand and said, 'God bless, and may God continue to bless your gifting.' As it truly IS just this. Wow! What a job!

I'm hoping to do this yearly...as it's that expensive...but, HANDS DOWN, most professional, CLEAN, and easy flowing peaceful and laid back environment I've been in in all the 'spa/massage/pedi's' I've been to in life..not that they're a lot, but let's just say....I have pampered myself in the past-lol!

http://www.zispas.com/

Now, off to making chicken tacos and homemade corn chips and pinto beans for the fam!

Have a lovely wednesday :)

June, in a Blink of an Eye

2011-06-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

OMGosh...is June really over by friday this week?! It seriously just started! I guess that's what happens with vacations, birthdays, and unattainable lawns to mow...

Thought I would post some pics of June....before JULY gets here.

My Coley Moley turned '5' this month....I can't believe it. It RAINED the entire day, so we skipped the party at home and went bowling at Triple play with family-he had a blast :)

Here he is at Denny's having his FREE birthday breakfast with daddy....sorry pic is flipped...that just reveals to you my 'skillz' when it comes to technology.

'Hi! I'm sliding off the chair and out of the pic...help me!'

Was pretty awesome to have SOME days of sun this month...and as soon as it hit, kids wanted to fill the pool up with ice cold mountain water...notice they like to 'fill' it and not get 'in' it....

Mabel basking in the GLORIOUS sun and much needed vitamin D.

Charlie....finally CAUGHT that booger in a straight on face picture! He's fast!

A VERY precious moment that Michael caught on camera when they weren't watching...brother and sister cuddling on the couch watching cartoons...:D Happy momma!

Mabel....not to be outdone by little brothers 'sometimes' baths....and after 'missing' her oppurtunity to take a bath in Mimi's BIG sink while visiting her house (the concept had freaked her out-lol!)...she asked to get in our sink-so, due to another rainy day and patience still in my tank...we had some fun!

Notice the cloudy water in the turqouise glass jar in the background...just another 7 day moment of chaos..won some goldfish at a friend's baby shower and the whole family struggled with guilt, shame, and dread for the week trying to keep them alive-lol! Ended up flushing them all, one by painful one, by the end of a week. :(

Scrubbing with the Mr. Potato scrubber...I hope no one's reading this that eats food from my house...namely....mashed potatoes.

A few nice pics after church one day when they still LOOKED cute in clean clothes (it's been a full month of muddy or extremely dusty dirty clothes from living in 'the willies'.)

This was the week when Mabel was attached to her doll, stroller, and sun glasses like nuthin' else...took them wherever we went all week....I loved it :) Poor thing's been surrounded by brothers and lots of boy toys (guns, dinosaurs, you name it) for the longest time...about time to get into some girly stuff!

Charlie has been extremely difficult to capture on film this year-lol! He's fast and doesn't like the camera! These are the only 2 shots that 'made it' after about 17 pic tries.

Isn't he CUTE!?

After I got back from my 'Vegas' trip...I was pretty behind in house stuff, let alone my OWN unpacking from the trip...as I was trying to catch up on laundry in the other room, I walked back into THIS room to get the clothes from the luggage and this is who I found in here...with the door shut and absolutley silent....he was having a GOOD time in mommies candy stash...thankfully he didn't get into the meds!

And we (Michael and I) ended our month with a surprise trip, from me to Michael, to the Gorge outdoor ampitheater, to see Tim McGraw. Now...I can't stand country...and I can't stand concerts...so this truly reveals my love for my man! ;D

My hot 'hunny' :D

The concert was on my 32nd birthday and his father's day weekend. We had a BLAST! The camping (in the Terrace camping) was BEAUTIFUL overlooking the canyon. I'd do it again in a heart beat...but I'd skip the concert ;)...and stay at the campsite looking out over the great abiss with a margarita, shades, and my Sunset magazine. :D

A poem for you this lovely day :)

2011-06-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

"I am the vine, ye are the branches."-John 15:5

Had to share :) , as this is DEFINATLEY apart of the season I have been in in transition with this whole 'tree in the desert'-I highlighted the part that jumped out to my BONES! :D

"Tis only a little branch,
A thing so fragile and weak,
But that little Branch hath a message
true
To give, could it only speak.
"I'm only a little Branch,
I live by a life not mine,
For the sap that flows through my
tendrils small
Is the life-blood of the Vine.
"No power indeed have I
The fruit of myself to bear,
But since I'm part of the living Vine,
It's fruitfulness I share.
"Dost thou ask how I abide?
How this life I can maintain?-
I am bound to the Vine by life's
strong band,
And I only need remain.

"Where first my life was given,
In the spot where I am set,
Upborne and upheld as the days go
by,
By the stem which bears me yet.
"I fear not the days to come,
I dwell not upon the past,
As moment by moment I draw a life,
Which forever more shall last. (Amen, baby!)
"I bask in the sun's bright beams,
Which with sweetness fills my fruit,
Yet I own not the clusters hanging
there,
For they all come from the root."
A life which is not my own,
But another's life in me:
This, this is the message the Branch
would speak,
A message to thee and me.
Oh, struggle not to "abide,"
Nor labor to "bring forth fruit,"
But let Jesus unite thee to Himself,
As the Vine Branch to the root. (YES! Fist pump here...)

So simple, so deep, so strong
That union with Him shall be:
His life shall forever replace thine
own,
And His love shall flow through thee.
For His Spirit's fruit is love,
And love shall thy life become,
And for evermore on His heart of
love
Thy spirit shall have her home.

This poem is by Freda Hanbury, found in 'The True Vine,' a one month devotional by Rev. Andrew Murray.

Beautiful! I hope you love too-grab onto the FREEDOM that ABIDING brings....not by your own strength, but by HIS! Thank you, Father! Hallelujah!

Home Sweet Home!

2011-06-21T09:28:00.000-07:00

I'm back! I had NO idea how little sleep I'd get while in Vegas-but let me just say we ended our last night w/only 2hrs before our 7:30am plane flight outta there! I was conked out and in my bed by 7pm and slept 13hrs straight and I'm STILL recuperating.....it was FUN! :)

Here are a few pics.....

The top left was our room we stayed in. It was sooooo nice and we had a nice continental breakfast every morning on the 31st floor w/your choice of fancy coffee from a machine. I had a 'whipped' coffee for the first time and LOVED it. Had the same texture as a mocha-but w/no cream....just literally WHIPPED coffee! They also had smoked salmon I've been itching to try for years after watching countless shows w/the Barefoot Contessa. I put it on a bagel w/cream cheese, capers, and pickled red onions....it was interesting......but I could only do one bite!

On the bottom right hand side of the pic are the lounge chairs I sat in every morning and read from my Kindle and magazines while sippin on a frozen beverage...the mojito was THE best! The circle on the very far right hand corner was the Villa my mother rented for all of us gals for a day! It had misters, private lounge chairs and pool floaties, a flat screen TV, radio, couch, table n chairs, a personal waiter for the day, and it came with a bottle of Tequila and 3 mixers...we chose margarita and soda water! That was THE best day of my trip! :D :D :D

Here I am sitting on the private lounge chairs at the Villa Rental

Here I am in suit #2 on the 3rd day at 10am trying to get a picture of myself...very embarrasing to ever aim a camera at yourself...especially in public-lol!...too funny.

And here we are getting ready to eat at a nice Mexican Restaurant in the Treasure island Hotel with my sister-n-laws. The two gals in the back are my husband Michael's sisters, Toni and Trina, and the gal next to me is Michael's brother's wife, Kathy.

My mom being forced to pose next to her machine while we were waiting. We all had machines next to each other and were cracking up at how much you can lose...to keep the 'momentum' up we were wooting loudly for each other, even when we were hitting small-lol-and were attracting people around us thinking we 'hit it big.' They either rolled their eyes or laughed at the attitudes we were taking just trying to have fun...while we were doing this-mom hit a big one-woot-woot!

This pic doesn't do this burger justice. It was about 8in tall and had smoked applewood bacon, brie, and carmelized onions as part of the toppings-YUMMY!

One of my fun hits that I remembered to take a picture of....I think I would've rolled out of the chair and peed my pants in public if the third wheel had hit another Triple Star.

Here I am in front of the 'Eiffel Tower' at the Paris Hotel (standing in our Rental Villa that day).

All in all, a completely awesome time with my mother, sister in laws, mother n law, and SELF (so much time to BE). So greatful :D And now looking forward to a summer of complete VEGGING and enjoying my 3 fat squishy babies before my first heads off to kindergarten this fall :( :) Bittersweet. But so thankful for a growing, healthy, and cheerful baby-okay, eh-hmm...BIG little boy that is LOOKING FORWARD to going to school! That's a blessing!

VACATION, BABY!

2011-06-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken 5yrs ago, tomorrow. I was getting ready to give birth to my 1st baby boy, Cole. Here I am 7days overdue.

Exactly 19months later I was 6months pregnant w/precious Mabel.

And exactly 18months after delivering Mabel, I was ready to give birth to this baby boy, Charlie.

That is, 3 beautiful and precious babies I was blessed with in 3.5 VERY short years.

It doesn't get better than this.....or does it?

Here's a shot of a fatigued and tired mommy at Christmas time 5months pregnant w/#2. And there have been numerous other 'fatigued moment's' throughout mommydom that I never could have prepared for...and if I'd known about them, I might have backed out-lol! Maybe that's why the Lord tells us to take it one day at a time :)

Needless to say, I've gone from hotty wifey w/spunk and vitality.....

To barely getting a bathrobe on in the mornings and looking like a wiped out zombie before I'm ambushed with 3 hungry little monkeys wanting to be fed and taken care of throughout the day. And although I am completely ENJOYING 95% of mommyhood.....I need a breather.

I have not had an escape..eh-hmm...excuse me, VACATION in the past 5yrs for more than 24hrs...I am so excited to tell you , that due to my FANTASTICALLY AWESOME HUSBAND (whose using his vacation days to take off work to stay at home and watch our children...and whose been saving 'extra' spending money for me on the side) and a GENEROUS MOTHER who's paying my way, I'm heading out to Las Vegas tomorrow morning with my mother, mother in-law, and sisters in law for a girls 4 day vacation tomorrow morning!

EEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are staying at the Paris Hotel

Here is the rooftop pool I'll be relaxing by and in...

And here are my two bathing suits I've purchased to accompany me as I LOUNGE out at the rooftop pool all day

I have the black bottoms for suit #1, but the top I chose has a geometrical black, white, gray design. And instead of the purple color for suit 2, mine is fushia pink....and look at her long gorgeous hair and cute figure...if only I could add these on as 'accesories'-lol! But don't worry-I'll carry that attitude when I wear it! ;D

CUTE ACCESSORIES from Payless!

Here is my sun hat I'll be wearing to protect my white face :)

Here are the cute shades....

Here are the cute sandals.....

I got these cute turquoise ones at Target onsale for $5

And here are the great finds at ROSS I came across...

This is my 'swimsuit' cover up for going to the pool in and lounging with if I'm in a more 'cover-up' mood...it's a very light cotton, sheer, mid-thigh, button down shirt.

This is a cute sun-dress I found-sorry pic is blurry, but I don't have time to take a new shot as my flight leaves in 24hrs and I haven't packed yet!

More of it's DETAIL....

Here is dress #2 for when I am feeling more daring and bold....eeek!

MORE detail.....

Yes! I am a sucker for blues and greens as both my blog page and house give attribute to.

My mother in-law and her sister and daughters take off tomorrow from Chicago to meet us there. They came up with a fun idea of going ot the airport in a limo with a bottle of Champagne....so....we couldn't pass up those festivities! My mother and I will be taking a limo w/champagne to the airport too! Eeeeeek!

I can't wait to SLEEP throughout the night WITHOUT any wake-ups..I'm used to getting up at least 1-2x's a night, and on bad nights, we're up half the night. I can't wait to finally OPEN and READ my Kindle out at the rooftop pool I got for Christmas that is loaded down with NEVER seen before books! I can't wait to sit at a slot machine in the dark with the numbing sound of 'ding-ding-ding' in the background, hidden away from the world at 3am.....oooh! Livin on the edge! Total freedom and relaxation baby!

See ya later, peeps!

Summer Time Pruning Fun!

2011-06-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to start planning my summer calendar, as you know I'm a stickler for enjoying each and every season to it's fullest. And I just LOVE what Aunt Ruthie (not my real aunt Ruthie) says on her blog, in relation to pruning peach trees. Can't help but take that as another beautiful TRUTH of the Lords that He again reveals throughout His creation; that although pruning might be painful at times, and the goods being severed might 'look' like good fruit....in order to have an ABUNDANCE of truly good and juicy fruit at the end of the season-it must be done!

So take some time to ask the Lord what needs to to be pruned back in your schedule's this summer as it ALL won't fit in :(-waah!, and what to prioritize your time, thoughts, and prayers toward. And then get out your pruning shears and snip away so you'll be able so ENJOY your abundant harvest this summer!

Come visit Aunt Ruthie's 'Sugar Pie Farmhouse' here to see some beautiful summer time pics and read more of her peach tree pruning endeavor.

"To Thine Ownself, be True"

2011-06-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

That saying used to bother me...I processed it as, 'put self first, above others.' But not anymore.

I am coming into a fuller understanding of just how precious each individual creation of the Lord's is, and how apparent that there is purpose behind all of our God's creations. It's taken years for me to believe this in myself.

At one time, deep in my heart, I thought I was an accident. I know many pregnancies are unplanned for, but I also know they bring joy to the parents and family. Knowing that my parents were teenagers when they found out they were having a child, and under very stressful circumstances w/their families in this ordeal, always made me feel responsible for their marriatel union that failed. That they weren't supposed to be together, but did so for me. As I grew up I would think about these things occasionally, especially when I would visit my father yearly. And the one thought that would hit me like a dagger to my heart, but that I would quickly squash down and hide back into the recesses of my heart, was that, 'I wasn't supposed to be here, and that they would not have married and gone through all that pain if I hadn't been conceived.' These were lies straight out of satans mouth and I believed them at times. Thankfully not all times, because both of my parents and their families love me, and I've been told time and time again throughout my life that I am NOT an accident. But satan's lies can be powerful when we don't refute them and if we agree with them.

I don't even like to share this deception I believed, because I know people go through SO MUCH more in relation to deeper rejections, deeper hurts, and are told deeper lies about themselves from the enemy, and EVEN loved ones. But I DO share, so I can bring it out to light and receive healing and so that others can bring out their hurts that they might 'supress' and try to handle or 'deal with' themselves, believing their wounds are too small for our mighty King who has bigger needs to deal with in hand. But this is not so. I believe, that it is within these deemed smaller 'hidden' things-that some of the most destruction and stolen ground can take place by the enemy towards us, and ultimately towards the Father. We must bring ALL things to our Lord. There is nothing too small or insignificant to bring before and to reveal to our Lord....and even to ourselves.

To finally say those words...that lie...I had believed about myself for so many years, outloud....and to renounce it and hand it over to God, brought so much freedom and healing.

Another lie I believed after my salvation, was that 'I was just 'lucky' to be saved and chosen, and I better just be 'good' from here on out and lay low for the rest of this ride so I don't mess it up. I was just thankful to be saved and accepted. But the Lord didn't want to leave it there for me. He doesn't want to leave it 'there' for any of his children, either. He has a plan-and a GOOD one at that.

We have two choices...to believe and agree with the lies of the enemy over each of our lives, whatever they may be, and allow them to become fuel for his fire against our Lord....OR, to agree with God and who HE says we are. Who believes we are worth His time, His heart, His prayers, and His ultimate love for us, His son, and become APART of this beautiful eternal story.

He loved us and found us IMPORTANT enough, to sacrifice His only son, Jesus Christ, whose blood would atone for our many sins, so that we could have relationship with Him here ON earth, and to BE with Him for eternity. And the BEAUTY OF IT ALL doesn't stop there sisters and brothers in Christ! He intends to use our lives for all of His plans and purposes to come to pass for HIS glory! Hallelujah! That takes OUR obedience and trust. It takes our believing that God DOES have a purpose with each of our lives....a purpose with every relationship, endeavor, and path.

Allow the Lord to get to the bottom of your heart, to sift through it, to REVEAL it. Don't hide anything. Don't hide WHO you are, to others, and especially from yourself. Get to know YOU. The Lord God, has a PURPOSE for your life, and the only way to allow that purpose to come forth, to flourish, to bloom, is to be TRUE to who the Lord has created you to be. This also includes our exterior 'shell' of a body. The Lord formed your precious body in the seclusion of your mother's womb. Love WHO you are and WHAT you are, while you open your arms wide to your heavenly father and fully allow Him access to transform, your heart, mind, and spirit.

This Psalm is for you this morning. As you read these precious words, allow them to saturate your heart to the very core. Say them outloud to yourself if you need to. I know when I say things outloud, they are 100x's more powerful! And then thank and praise our Father, the ultimate potter, who CREATED us!

Psalm 139, NLV

O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my every thought when I’m far away.
You chart the path ahead of me and
tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment you know where I am.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You both precede and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to know!

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are both alike to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—and how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They are innumerable!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up in the morning,
you are still with me!

O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies take your name in vain.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with complete hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

And lastly my dear blog friends, a beautiful song by Misty Edwards to worship to, 'Finally I Surrender.' Surrender ALL of you to the Lord your God and allow Him to do His will in your lives. He's a GREAT God and we can TRUST Him with our all!

Desert Blooms

2011-05-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

I have changed my blog from 'Becky Boo!' to 'Desert Blooms.' :) I've been pondering it for months, and I'm finally going to just 'take that step out there into the great abiss' and DO it.

The Lord gave me a vision of the season I am in, and will be in for a time, during the spring of 2010. The vision was of an isolated tree in the desert, with no blooms or foliage. On the right hand side of this tree was a stream of running water moving north alongside it. Underneath the cracked desert earth, I could see the roots of the tree growing deep into the ground as it fed from the stream. The Lord told me that the tree was me, and that the roots growing deeper were being fortified in wisdom, by drawing from Him, and only Him, in this isolation.

At first...I was excited beyond belief....but as the year has gone on, and the Lord has had me close door after door after door (including 'feel good' christian endeavors)....I've gone through a range of emotions....panick, doubt, fear, depression, uncertainty, and at the same time....peace.

Peace beyond peace. Even as I cry out to Him at times and question this journey I am on, I trust Him. I trust Him, that while I step out into the 'unknown' He's leading me into, and as He prunes and cuts off every branch from this tree that does not bring Him glory by it's fruit...that HE will not let me go. He will not allow me to be snatched from the palm of His hand, and for THAT, I am encouraged, and excited once again!

This blog is for me to 'rabbit trail' my journey, including life's 'happenin's,' and to share with fellow Christian believers ALL parts of this journey (the good and the bad) by 'keepin it REAL,' in order that we may 'encourage, exhort, and uplift' each other as Christ would have us to. For the Lord our God, has planned and purposed in His heart, ALL of our paths, and knew us by name before the foundations of the earth were created! :D

And although the tree in the vision had no tangible 'blooms' or 'foliage' to speak of, yet...by His gracious goodness and mercy, there ARE blooms in this desert. These are the sweet revelations He gives me that continue to nourish me, fed by the sweet waters from His living streams of life while I abide IN Him. These blooms are also His sweet blessings in my life; my sweet babies in my arms, my adoring husband, and encouraging family and dear christian sisters who listen to all my ramblings-(and they're long!), who pray with me and for me, and who I pray, will continue to hold me accountable in love.

Faux Christmas vs. REAL Christmas...

2011-01-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

Aaaaahhhhh....the perfect Christmas house and lights.....

Ooooh......the sparkly Christmas Tree!

Oh, how sweet...how cute....little candy canes peeping from a tea kettle...the perfect touch...

Oh, what a darling boy and his Abby Bear!

Look at the half grin on that one!

But wait!

Where is the last goober?

Do you want the REALITY behind the scenes?

Do you want to see the RISK that happens when trying to create the PERFECT Christmas w/toddlers?!

Here he is......

My FAVORITE part of this one is...the dipping INTO the toilet to brush his teeth like a good boy!

What's that you say? A perfect Christmas picture card, too?

Well...let's see...

1st attempt...don't you LOVE the shoe chewing and the closed eyes!

2nd attempt...after mommy starts getting...scary....and yelling...

3rd attempt...Cole is 'shutting down'...'I'm not here...I'm not here,' he keeps repeating to himself in his head as mommy loses it....and what a GOOD girl...NEVER fazed by mommies screaming...miss Mabel does her best attempt at restraining the youngin to the couch.

Ahhhh...after taking a breather...and gaining control of herself and the situation, mommy GOES with the situation...and AFTER the kids get into their cozies and play a bit...they come downstairs calling themselves...'underwear heads'...mommy went w/the moment, and the perfect Christmas card pic was takin'!

Ooohh...YUMMY Christmas cookies to make and package...

Sitting...drying...dripping frosting w/delight....

And...the wild flying monkeys attack after mommy takes the drying racks away!

Look at the girl go, lickin' away at the frosting drops!

Little brother can't be outdone!

And now...to a FRESH New Year's Eve....and day...

Happy New Year to a year of REALNESS!

Sun Room Before and After's

2010-08-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

Well, just got some news a few days ago..we'll be moving OUT of the farmhouse and BACK INTO the house we are losing to short sale-lol! It's a LOT to take in. Not sure what God is doing through all of this, but I am trusting that 'He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called accordingly to His purpose.' I am also 'trusting in the Lord my God and NOT leaning unto my own understanding.' It feels GOOD to let go, and LET Him.

Not to say I didn't cry....I've fallen in love with this little farmhouse, and it's bittersweet to move back into the home my heart was attached to before we lost it...and I'm not looking forward to moving with 3 little kids...but, we'll see how this plan of the Lord's unfolds...maybe He's going to win back the house we lost? Who knows? But, I am believing BIG from my God...even if it means moving BACK into the farmhouse! :)

I thought I would finish posting the 'Before and After' pics of this farmhouse though before we move out :( I can't believe it....we're moving out almost 1yr to the date we moved in.

Well, here is my FAVORITE room in the whole house that I got to have a lot of FUN in (decorating that is)! I use it as my laundry facility, my food storage, and my girly-girl get together room that I NEVER got to get together in!-loL! Oh, life! The things we plan ;D

Here is the 'Before Pic' of the Sun Room facing the North

'After'

Front entrance of Sun Room into the house 'Before'

(you can see precious little Mabel's head when she was just 1yr pokin around ;)

Add caption

And 'After'

'Before' of the laundry area facing South

'After'

I'm gonna miss it! :(

The Grass is Greener on the Other Side?

2010-08-03T14:06:00.000-07:00

Okay-so I'll admit it...I was out 'pouting' on my doorstep with a glass of wine on sunday evening. Michael was giving the kids a bath, and I was just trying to catch a moment of fresh air and silence. I've had a really hard month. Won't go into details, but my hard month has turned into pouting, which we all know is the worst. YUCK!

Then I saw my neighbors pulling into their driveway across the street in their white convertable with the top down. Probably returning from a nice evening drive, although, I don't know where they get all this energy...I had just seen them pulling in their drive a few hours prior with some friends of theirs all riding Harley's-loL! Quite the life they lead. (Our house and windows overlook their home, in case you're thinking I'm stalking-lol!) Anyways, wonderful, friendly, and loving couple who are in their 50's. I see their kids and grandkids coming and visiting them a few times a month, and they have lots of friends who stop by. I also love seeing them come home early from work so that they can go garden in their front yard together. She pulls the weeds and tends the flowers, he does the heavy duty stuff. I admit, I can't help but yearn for a well tended garden, restful nights, and long drives with my husband w/the top down :) However, it's just not my season.

As I was 'pouting', the Lord had me open my eyes, and take a look around in a new perspective. And I saw all the beauty in my own life that I tend to at times, overlook as failures...I've been potting plants, only to have the kids 'pick the flowers' from them-loL! Thankfully they're healing nicely now...and whenever I think I've picked up, they leave their stuff all over, knock things over, yada-yada...also, after trying my darndest to 'spruce up' this old farmhouse...there's still a lot of broken glass, crumbling cement, and rot to cover-loL! However, it's all beautiful! I love the life that is creeping all over this place now. And I am so thankful for it. So I grabbed my camera and started taking pics of it all.

Birds!

2010-06-26T18:13:00.000-07:00

Birds aren't boring...I never thought that would come from my mouth-lol! Out of all the animals in the world, I've tended to be a bit bored with birds...taken them for granted really...never quite got what the nerdies with their 'noculars' and books were doing. It's only been since being saved, and hearing other people share moments when God has spoken to them with a sign through a bird, that I've taken notice of them. And this week....they keep popping up throughout my reading and life....and prayer, actually. I think God placed them here to help 'awaken' us-so to speak-to His spirit...that said, that reminds me of reading to Cole and Mabel this week from their bible and seeing the picture of the white dove (now symbolic of the Holy Spirit) alighting down on Jesus, when John the Baptist was pointing Him out to the crowd and about to baptize Jesus, and God spoke saying, 'This is my Son, whom I love, and am well pleased.' Can you imagine?

They are so cute, and come in all different colors, sizes, temperments...different calls and voices...I've really noticed them a lot more when things are quiet, that is, since I've moved from downtown, up to this little farmhouse, and can hear them every morning from 3am, until late into the sunset...9pm...all day long I hear them calling, singing, fighting, chirping...GAINING my attention...like today....until I was able to have the house alone (kids with hubby), was I able to truly pour out my prayer and longings of my heart to the Lord, and to hear His voice, just like those chirps...birds...there to catch our attention if we allow them...to distract us from the 'every day'...now...to 'have eyes to see...and ears to hear' what the Lord has for us...to be in tune and LOOKING for His Holy Spirit in the every day stuff...to allow Him to distract, to give Him my full attention...to appreciate His song. To allow His spirit to guide me, lead me, and direct me...to hear His still, small, voice...dang! Those birds are cute right now! I wish you could hear them! I'm typing by my open window...oh, well...you get my gist! :D

Pantry Pics!

2010-06-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Here is the cute little farm pantry that was a really cute yellow/aqua combo, however, the walls were covered with years amd years of dirt, stains, and mildew/mold growth all around window and down the wall. So I decided to paint fresh! And where can you get away with this shade of pink apart from a tiny little room-voila! Here's where I can have FUN! Moved the lime green curtains with white polka dots out to the kitchen, and moved in some cute vintage curtains with pink/turqouise flowers in that I had found on ebay a few years ago. Got the bright yellow chair stool from my mom, that the kids LOVE to get hair cuts on! :D

(Also note: new flooring in here, too...old tiles pulled, and laminate put down.)

Before and After!

Farm House: Before and After Living Room Pics

2010-06-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Okay-finally found a moment! Here are the 'Before's' and 'After's' of the 'Living Room' in the farmhouse. I am so glad it's finally fresh, bright, and airy! Yeah!

Living Room facing East

'Before'

(ripped out 3 levels of old flooring including carpet, tiles, and linoleum)

'After'

East Living Room Corner

'Before'

'After'

(note; NEW carpet....YEAH!!!!!!)

West Living Room Corners

'Before'

(note: the fireplace that had fallen down the previous winter due to torrential snow, replaced instead by another large window...light!)

'After'

And here; deciding NOT to fight the wallpaper scene, but to GO with it!

Technology Drag

2010-06-01T10:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't been on here in so long-and now I don't know how to publish pics because the 'add pic' icon is gone! Grr! I hate change ;)

So, writing to say why I havn't 'been' writin'....I'm in a mixed up jumble right now in my mind/heart. Praying for clarity of what to share, what not to share, where to spend my time, where to prioritize, etc. I have already decided to post pics of the kids on another blog for grandparents only in order to keep them protected in this crazy world of the 'world-wide web' and now what to do with my Becky Boo blog:)...I'm thinking I'd like to change it to a place to share all of my hobbies and decorating/creative stuff...and publish pics of it all...now to get my camera working again...we've been through 3 cameras this year alone, and if you knew me well at all, you'd know that's more than I can handle with technology-loL! I HATE learning technology...LOVE it when I get it-but, the process is difficult for me and I get very easily confused and wished it all worked the same and that the lingo stayed the same throughout. Will keep on pressing on though! Next post, I'm hoping to finally get the pics of this farmhouse up and all the changes it's been through throughout this year for the 'Before and After' slideshow! I'll get working on that as soon as I get caught up in 'life'...wink, wink...

My CRAZY LOCO Children :)

2010-04-02T19:35:00.001-07:00

Aww! 1st baby pics, I'd forgotten..boy does time fly!

2010-03-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

Thank you Lord, for Coley Moley :)

FURIOUS LOVE

2010-03-21T14:03:00.000-07:00

Just added the 'Furious Love' movie trailer on my other blog, "Dreams and Visions from the Lord, my God" for you to check out if you haven't already. It's located on the left hand side of this blog page under my blog lists. CHECK IT OUT if you haven't seen it yet!

Watched the movie last night at church and was so excited about God's FURIOUS LOVE for us and the people in this lost world and how He's continuing to reveal the enemy to us, because of His grace for us, so that we would NOT slumber and be ready for the battle we are IN RIGHT NOW through prayer, and our hands and feet revealing HIS love so that HE, the Great 'I AM' would be glorified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes you just stay up late and you get er done...

2010-03-17T23:25:00.000-07:00

Found this round table set and four chairs on craig's list for $35...

Old set and condition of seats...

Bought $6.47 worth of fabric materials and wha-lah!

Seat w/out the vinyl, just fabric.

Fun fabric and vinyl covers so food/drink can easily be wiped off from kid's messes.

Cole & Mabel Playing Video Games

2010-03-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

Charlie Bear

2010-03-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

Cole's Swing

2010-03-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

North Idaho Winter

2010-02-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

Picture from yesterday outside our bedroom window of the gorgeous EARLY spring that was tempting me to plant my flowers...

And a pic of this morning outside in the front yard!

Cole on his way out to play.

Chasing me with a snowball while I was taking pics...he's fast and getting a kick out of attempting to land one on my back!

That's one happy 3yr old!

Making his 'famous snow angel'...

My little shoveler helping out.

Nothing like eating snow off of grass...:P

A VERY serious job here people...

My little bear cub, Charlie!

My new haircut last month :D

For Grandma's and Grandpa's out of town.

2010-02-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

This post is for Grandma Anna, Grandpa Larry, Grandma Kala, and Papa. Taken this past weekend in the kids bedroom practicing with our new camera. As you can see, it's very difficult to get a shot with all three kids happy and smiling :) However, I LOVE all these mess up pics! They're my favs! Enjoy! "We love you Grammys' and Gramps'!" Oh! And Mabel's wearing my pants and shirt from when I was little.

Help!

2010-02-05T16:26:00.000-08:00

So I am getting extremely SICK of my 'wallpaper' on this blog and can't for the life of me figure out how to change it! I've copied, pasted, deleted, etc., can't figure it out. Any tips? Thanks!

Cloth Diapers...I mean, Roulette!

2010-02-04T14:55:00.000-08:00

So, a new season has begun. A new season had begun 3.5 years ago when I 'retired' from teaching to become a 'stay at home' mom, but my 'living patterns' hadn't quite changed..on top of the recession and my husband changing careers-lol! I TALKED the big talk of being okay w/going down to one car, and buying a smaller house, and not going out to nice dinners anymore, nor buying 'good' wine...but, I hadn't realized JUST how much I'd have to give up-loL! INCLUDING..the 'small' house. Funny, how when you think you've 'figured it all out' and 'prepared for it all'...life STILL throws you a curve ball. Thankfully, Michael is finally starting to get some roots up here with his work and we are now settled into the smallest of the sweet small homes, a cute little farmhouse-SUCH A BLESSING IN DISGUISE!

Anyways, not wanting to go back to work for a MILLION good reasons, I have been praying to the Lord to show me and give me ways in which to be a 'better steward' of our finances as a wife. You know, with cooking, shopping, selling, and yes...saving. ONE of these areas that was brought up was diapers. We probably spend around $75-$100a month for Mabel and Charlie who are still 24hr diaper babies. This HAS to be a GOD thing, as I've never even condidered cloth diapers for me at any time in life, even after dear friends of mine have used them and coming across and reading blogs of people who use them...still, nada THOUGHT came into my mind of ME using them as this 'just wasn't my season' with three small kids and a stressful year. HOWEVER-that stressful year has slowly been subsiding and the Lord finally put the idea into my head. So, I've stepped out by faith and bought them.

We started on monday night, and the kids were soooo excited to put them on, that is..Cole my 'potty trained' child who 'back-slid' this week during all the 'cool clothe diaper' excitement-loL! And Mabel, who quickly went to the huge pile of them dumped on the floor and quickly picked up all the pink and purple ones and walked away with them...Charlie, had no concept of what chaos was about to ensue on his tush-lol!

After only 3 days of using them, I have to say, every penny I've spent on real ones was MORE than worth it and QUITE the luxury-hahaha! And after all the leaks and 4x's the amounts of changing them INCLUDING new clothes...and having a cold with crabby sick kids, and new bed time routines that are not working out...we will still USE THEM! They are much cozier and softer than I had imagined (I'd been raised w/the cloth diaper pins and rubber pants)-and cute to boot! And most importantly, they wil be saving money and landfill space/and nasty waste.

I'll update if I change my mind-but, so far they're keepers!